You seem be be regarding the work we do as some kind of reward for people who have committed crimes. I don’t see it that way myself. People are capable of change, and we help give people access to tools, like meditation, that can help them become better people. These tools promote impulse control, which helps people to get out of the habit of doing stupid, impulsive, and harmful things. They also promote self-awareness and empathy, so that criminals who have harmed others can begin to feel genuine remorse for their victims. That’s a painful process to go through, and not a “reward” in any ordinary sense. And most criminals are going to get out of prison, so you’d better hope they change. In the absence of self-awareness, many inmates become worse criminals than when they went in.

I don’t know if you’ve ever visited a prison, but the idea that “these are wretched people with nothing to offer society but a reminder of the evils of which human beings are capable” applies to very few inmates. There are certainly some people who are psychotic, incapable of remorse or empathy, and beyond change, but the overwhelming sense you get while meeting the vast majority of inmates is how ordinary they are. Many in fact do come out of prison and contribute to society.

Incidentally, in regard to the pain you’re giving expression to, you might want to consider the wise words of Esther Lederer, who said “Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” It’s not possible to experience hatred and love at the same time, and every moment you hate your grandfather’s murderer is one in which you’re not loving your grandfather. I feel saddened thinking of you wasting your mental energy in this way, and hope that you can find peace.