Is meditation for me?
Presumably, if you’ve got this far, you’re interested in meditation. But you may be wondering whether you’re “cut out for it”. I hear a lot of people saying things like, “Oh, I could never meditate; I’m too easily distracted”.
I’d like to reassure you that anyone can meditate, and that you don’t need any special abilities to follow this path.
In fact, the “I’m too distracted to meditate” attitude really betrays a misunderstanding of what meditation is about. (It’s OK to start out with misunderstandings, incidentally. How could we not start out with misunderstandings of something we know little or nothing about?).
The idea behind meditating is not that we’re seeking to have “perfect meditations”, like an Olympic gymnast going for a perfect 10 in a competition, but that we’re doing some basic work on developing our minds, more like when we go to the gym and do some exercise.
When we go to work out, it wouldn’t be a very helpful attitude to think, “Oh, I can’t work out, I’m not strong enough or fit enough”. The whole point of working out, as we know, is to start from where we are and to develop greater levels of strength and fitness.
It’s the same deal with meditation. If we’re very distracted, or very anxious, or we keep getting irritated by sounds in our environment when we’re trying to meditate, that’s just what we’re starting with. That’s our raw material.
Meditation helps us to become aware of these habitual tendencies, and also helps us to work with them so that they become less prominent in our lives, so that we become a bit less distracted, less anxious, more accepting.
And just like working out at the gym, where we don’t make some sudden leap to athleticism, in meditation we change gradually. Breath by breath, meditation by meditation, day by day, we work changes within our hearts and minds; changes that accumulate over time.
It’s possible to change from being a very anxious person to a very confident person; to move from being habitually in a bad mood to being more laid-back. We just have to do the practice.
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Comments
Comment from sothea
Time: February 3, 2008, 8:01 am
meditation is very beneficial to me. when I my head seems to be full and difficult to get new information, I try to practise meditation.
As a result, my head and body is very relaxed.
Comment from thecatsmother
Time: March 17, 2008, 11:55 am
I’ve been meditating daily for about a month now and I can’t believe how calm and relaxed I am becoming. I want to spread the word so everyone can feel the same feelings I am experiencing. The world would be a more loving place.
Comment from David
Time: September 2, 2008, 2:17 am
I have been meditating for quite some time now, and I cannot believe how relaxed I am about everything. All of my stress just seems to melt away.
I have one question, and I wasn’t sure where to put this. Whenever I meditate (I’m not sure when this started) I get this tingling feeling first in my hands, and then my whole body. What’s more, I feel pressure, not pleasurable or painful, just pressure, on the middle of my forehead. I this normal, or is it something I should be worried about?
Comment from Sunada
Time: September 2, 2008, 2:23 pm
Dear David,
What you’re describing is a fairly common experience for meditators, and nothing to be concerned about. It could be one of two things. First, it could be that your mind and body are just not used to being with so little stimulation. And so they go off and start making up experiences like this in order to keep themselves occupied! Just like anything else, if you let them be, they will pass.
The other possibility, especially if you’ve been meditating for quite some time, is that you’re becoming more sensitive to the subtle goings-on in your body. Maybe you’ re starting to become aware of different kinds of bodily energy flows. Hands are a common place to feel lively energy — and that tingling you’re feeling could be exactly that.
In any case, I think you’re fine to think of them as just another thing in a parade of passing experiences. Or how about using them as the focus of your concentration and see what happens? Might be an interesting experiment
Best wishes,
Sunada
http://www.mindfulpurpose.com
Comment from Kar
Time: September 6, 2008, 11:23 am
In the past I’ve put off meditation until I felt I was ready for it. I thought I had to be calm and that meditation was useless unless I was perfectly at peace and 100% focused on breathing. Not surprisingly, the pressure I put on myself to meditate “perfectly” made me give up in frustration. Later on I came to this site. This article inspired me to try it again, only this time I won’t be concerned about doing it right. Just do it!
Comment from kurt
Time: October 13, 2008, 7:51 am
I have been depressed for about 20 years and have done a lot of things like taking antidepresive medications, talk therapy, electroshock therapy.
I have tried to meditated but have not been very consistent. Also I am afraid that it can make my depression get worse or that it can make me kind of Psycotic or crazy.
Would you give me some enlightment about.
Thanks in advance, Kurt
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: October 14, 2008, 9:46 am
Hi Kurt,
If you don’t already suffer from some kind of psychosis (which I take to mean experiencing hallucinations, delusions, or both) it’s vanishingly unlikely that meditation would push you in that direction. Meditation has convincingly been shown to be helpful in preventing relapse in people who have suffered depression — Google “Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression” for more information.
It is possible that meditating might make your depression worse, although it wouldn’t exactly be the meditation itself that would do that; the tendency of the depressed mind to ruminate in an unhelpful way can be heightened when turning the attention inwards. With appropriate guidance this is much less likely to happen, and I’d suggest you look into finding a professionally-run mindfulness-based program for depression.
Comment from levan
Time: October 19, 2008, 12:48 am
beautiful! I read about stopping seeing noise around you as your enemy. I know it’ll improve my situation too. thank you!
Comment from Shamash
Time: October 28, 2008, 5:37 am
I think meditation is very effective for reducing depression. I have found it has helped many of my clients to help them get out of their head and more attentive to bodily sensations and the outside environment.
I recently worked with a lady that has MS and at first she was very skeptical, but did the course because her daughter encouraged her. She now says she feels much better, and never knew what a positive effect it has, both to relieve her stress and help her to stretch her body in ways she doubted she could do earlier.
Mindfulness meditation is my favorite kind of meditation.
Best wishes,
Shamash
http://www.learnmindfulness.co.uk/
Comment from loza
Time: December 17, 2008, 10:23 pm
I tried medetation many many times, didn’t work for me at all, i get frustrated even more, now i stop doing it, i am doing something wrong? help lol
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: December 18, 2008, 8:11 pm
Hi Loza,
It’s pretty much impossible for me to answer your question. You don’t say what you did when you were meditating, what you expected to happen, and what did happen when you said it “didn’t work.” That doesn’t give me much to go on.
Often when someone manages to formulate a question in a clear way they are most of the way to answering the question themselves, so I’d suggest you work at clarifying what you were trying to ask. At the very least I’ll have some information to go on and at best you may even find that you’ve answered your question by asking it.
Comment from Cristal
Time: April 6, 2009, 2:12 pm
Hi,
hello
I just wanted some advice please,
I am new to meditating and sometimes when i sit to meditate
after maybe 10 minutes i find that everything seems to be spinning
even if i open my eyes slightly the room still feels like its spinning.
sometimes i can sit through it and it passes other times i have to end the meditation.
any ideas?
many thanks
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: April 6, 2009, 7:01 pm
Hi Cristal,
There are a couple of possibilities that spring to mind. If you’re controlling your breath then it’s possible that you’re hyperventilating a little and making yourself dizzy.
On the other hand, if you’re fairly sure that your breathing is relaxed and natural, this may be what we call a samapatti, which is a sign that you’re starting to get concentrated. The kind of samapatti that is disturbing, like yours, is a sign that you’re getting concentrated, but haven’t quite adjusted to the inner quietness you’re developing. People have various kinds of disturbing samapattis, including swirling lights, feeling that parts of the body are greatly enlarged, etc.
It may be hard, but when the samapatti starts to arise I’d suggest you basically ignore it and just keep your attention on the object of the meditation. You might even want to look for the most subtle part of the object (like the sensation of the breath on the rims of the nostrils, if you’re doing the mindfulness of breathing practice).
People who are prone to samapattis are also likely to experience a more useful, and similar phenomenon, which we call nimittas. Nimittas are generally more stable, also arise when we’re getting more concentrated, but when we pay attention to them they help us to focus and still the mind even more. So I’d suggest you watch out for something that seems superficially similar to a samapatti but is stable.
Feel free to ask more questions if this isn’t entirely helpful.
Comment from Dr Kabindra Bajracharya
Time: July 25, 2009, 4:27 am
I fully agree, with practice we can reach to our original purity of mind, washing all tanha, emiting compassion.
Comment from Sarah
Time: August 10, 2009, 10:56 am
Hi there
Can someone help me understand somethiing i am experiencing when meditating.
Firstly, Whislt in the mditation state I feel/become very sensitive to external sounds and the feelings they create. When i hear anoise my heart races and I get sudden feelings of anxiety type emotions in my stomach.
Is this normal, am I meditating right??
Secondly, when finished meditating, although I feel at ease, comfortable etc..I’m left with these feelings of anxiety. I feel quite subjude (spelling wrong!) and very sensitive like i could cry or someone could upset me easily (not that they have). These feeling will go to bed with me so I couls be having them for about 4 hours after.
I just wondered if, again, this was ok normal or not?
Any help or sugestions would be greatly apprieciated.
Sarah
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: August 10, 2009, 11:24 am
Hi Sarah,
These kinds of experiences are not very common, but I have heard about them in connection with Transcendental Meditation. I’ve also met one person who was prone to panic attacks who experienced something similar. I think what goes on is a positive feedback loop where your mind reacts to certain sensations with anxiety, and then goes on to react to the sensations of anxiety by producing more anxiety — in other words we get anxious about being anxious, and that’s why it lasts so long.
It would be useful to know more about the kind of meditation you’re doing, and specifically what you do in that meditation. It may be something about the way you’re approaching the practice — or the form of the meditation practice — that’s setting you up for this kind of experience.
But in general there are a number of things you could do that might help. One is to accept the feelings of anxiety and to learn to accept them as a normal experience. You can break the sensations down and name them, for example: “heart beating; energy in hands; churning stomach”. Treat each one as a guest, and pay friendly attention to it. Treat each one like a scared child that you’re giving solace to. We can find that even when we’re anxious there’s a calm part of ourselves that we can relate from, and so we can embrace our anxiety in a calm and compassionate field of awareness. That’s a valid approach, but it may not be the best one to start with.
Another approach is to help you calm down, and I’d suggest (without of course knowing what kind of practice you’re doing) that you pay attention to the sensations of the breath in the belly and particularly pay attention to the outbreath, perhaps by counting after each exhalation (see the guidance for stage one of the mindfulness of breathing practice). If any sensations of anxiety arise, you can say “It’s okay to feel this. Let me feel this.” And if the sensations don’t simply pass quickly then move on to the “welcoming” approach I mention above.
If it’s sounds that particularly trigger this I wonder if you’re generally aware of sounds in your environment while meditating, or whether you tend to forget about them and then when you hear something it comes as a surprise to you? If that’s the case, then I’d suggest you actually include an awareness of the sounds (and other sensations) in your environment as part of your meditation practice. You can start your meditation by being aware of your surroundings (with your eyes closed) and then maintain that awareness as you begin to follow the breath.
If you tell me more about what you actually do in meditation then I can give you more tailored advice, perhaps.
All the best,
Bodhipaksa
Comment from Dr. kabindra Bajracharya
Time: August 24, 2009, 9:02 am
one day I was meditating and one thought came to my mind.Now I am at the state to do something for others,for benefit for others my any means.So if I get I will do.I mean if I get money I will use for poor.If I get knowledge I will spread.If I have health I will work for others like that.Immediately the reply came from my mind.You do you will get.That means if I start to give donations for poor people I will get wealth.If I help ill,I will be healthy.If I start to give virtuous teaching to other I will get wisdom like this.
This is great teaching I got from my meditation “you will do if you get,no no,but to say do you will get”
any coments welcome.
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: August 24, 2009, 10:12 am
Hi Dr. Bajracharya,
I’m glad you feel impelled to help others. Realistically, I don’t think it follows that if we give to others we will become rich ourselves, or that is we help the sick we will be healthy. That may or may not happen, and in fact the opposites may also happen. I think the important thing is that if we help others we can become rich and healthy in other ways: we can experience the inner wealth of knowing that we are helping others and we can experience a healthy glow of joy in connecting with other people.
All the best,
Bodhipaksa
Comment from Ralf
Time: August 27, 2009, 7:57 am
When I meditate- and focus on some idyllic scene, eg sitting alone by a stream in a field, I can make myself have this relaxed feeling that flows through my stomach which resembles almost the gentle feel of adrenaline flowing in my abdomen. However it is a warm and relaxing feeling. In fact if I hold that feeling on for long enough it can actually have the same effect as when I am nervous, i.e. I need to visit the toilet. What is going on here as it is actually very comforting
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: August 27, 2009, 9:48 am
Hi Ralf,
I’m glad to hear that you’re experiencing pleasant sensations in meditation. Just a physiological point — adrenaline being released would be the opposite of what’s happening. You’re experiencing the physiological effects of the parasympathetic nervous system kicking in as you relax, while adrenaline is part of the sympathetic system that is related to stress and anxiety.
I’m not sure I can remember all of the physiological interactions of the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems on the intestines, but I think the sympathetic system (fight or flight) can cause a desire to evacuate the bowels, but otherwise blood supply to the intestines is reduced and digestion shuts down. With the parasympathetic system (the relaxation response) blood supply to the gut is increased, as is gut motility and digestion. And presumably that’s why you feel “you gotta go!”
Anyway, this is all a sign that the meditation is working. You’re relaxing. But there’s always more you can do. You can make sure that you keep working on developing a clear perception of the object of meditation so that the mind doesn’t just turn to mush! And you can cultivate an existential edge in your practice by being aware of the impermanent nature of all your experiences by watching sensations, thoughts, and emotions arising and passing away.
Comment from Ralf
Time: August 27, 2009, 10:07 am
Thanks Bodhipaksa for your prompt reply and I will keep working on improving my meditation techniques
Ralf
Comment from Amanda
Time: September 23, 2009, 4:03 pm
Hello, I was wondering if you could help me. I am new to meditating and only done it ten times or so. I am really enjoying the benefits towards my family and my calmness already. My problem seems to be, when I am coming out of meditation I tingle all over my body and my head feels large and heavy. Its kind of unplesent but Im wanting to stick at it. I am training to be a CBT counsellor and my first experience of this was when I did a group meditation with the rest of the class.
Any help would be great. I also dont focus on anything when i meditate. Should I be?
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: September 23, 2009, 4:15 pm
Hi Amanda,
Those kinds of experiences are not uncommon, and are actually a sign that you’re getting concentrated in meditation. There are two kinds of similar experiences to those you describe: some are pleasant and the others have either an unpleasant quality or can simply be distracting. What’s important is not to attach too much significance to what you’re experiencing. They’re both a sign that you’re making progress and a sign that you’re not yet quite established in a calm, alert, and focused state of mind. If you pay undue attention to these sensations you’ll tend to get stuck. I’d suggest just keeping going with the practice, but I do think it would be useful for you to focus on one particular sensation, such as the sensation of the breath. You should find that you start to experience the other kind of experience I was talking about — these may be a pleasant feeling of flow, or an inner sound that comes and goes with the breath, or a steady light, or a clear and stable image, or a pleasant tingling, or a feeling of warmth. When that kind of sensation arises, pay attention to it. Doing so will help you to go into a deep state of concentration. Do let me know how you get on.
Comment from Armin
Time: November 6, 2009, 6:23 pm
I have problems keeping my eyes closed, and when they’re open I just can’t fix them to look at one spot.
then I can’t keep my back straight, I have a slightly deformed spine so It’s painful to keep straight when sitting. and then there’s my heart pumping too hard, my whole torso shakes at every heartbeat just when sitting normally, not to speak about the painful process of keeping my back straight.
and last but not least I get distracted way too easily, I’m a never ending thinker, no thoughts would be like death to me.
is there any hope for me?
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: November 7, 2009, 9:55 pm
Hi Armin,
What you seem to be saying is that you can’t imagine how you could feel happy if you were to think less. Why are you so attached to your thoughts? Is it because they make you happy?
Getting a comfortable posture is a problem when there’s some spinal deformity. You probably need some extra support, such as the Back Jack, which braces your back.
As for the rest of the stuff you mentioned, meditating will help you to be less reactive towards sensations you find uncomfortable.
Comment from Stephen Webber
Time: December 3, 2009, 4:05 am
Brilliant writing! So wonderful!
Thank you for putting it all so well.
Comment from Rihards
Time: April 21, 2010, 5:15 am
Hello!
I’ve been practicing meditation only few weeks now. Still a long way to go.
I recently found in internet so called mind-sync (brain-sync) audios. I’ve never practiced it and my knowledge about this mind-sync is very superficial. So I wanted to ask if it can be helpful or maybe it’s not even advisable to practice it?
Thank You!
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: April 21, 2010, 9:56 am
Hi Rihards,
I’d suggest saving your money for something else. I don’t think it does any harm, but I seriously doubt that the benefits are any greater than from listening to relaxing music. Incidentally, meditation is something we do rather than something that is done to us. Even if holosync worked, it’s not providing you with any mental skills, while meditating trains your mind to work in more creative ways.
Comment from Manuel
Time: June 5, 2010, 8:26 am
Hi
Bodhipaksa could you give some advice please:
When im meditating tears form in my eye. It is never both eyes only one right or left.
But i meditate as usual and i feel very good after it and the world seems more real.
Why do i cry ? (not really cry just tears)
Thanks
Manuel
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: June 5, 2010, 8:53 am
Hi Manuel,
How interesting!
The tear glands are under the control of the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of the autonomic nervous system involved in relaxation. So although the response you describe is unusual (I’ve never come across it before) it’s in a way a sign that the meditation is working. Im not sure if there’s anything you can do about it — but things change and it’s possible that this may stop happening at some point.
Comment from Aimee
Time: June 7, 2010, 9:30 pm
Thank you for your informative articles! I have been on my own meditation journey and it has changed my life! Meditation has been an amazing experience in the healing of my body, mind and spirit. I love that you promote that anyone can do it! Love your site!
Comment from Carlos
Time: August 30, 2010, 11:06 pm
Dear Bodhipaksa,
My admiration for your great job, I recently started to practice the Brahmaviharas, using your wonderful CDs. However, I am not sure if I’m doing them right. In the case of Karuna, I am not sure that, say when a friend is suffering because he lost his job, if all the time that he is in my mind I have to be aware of his suffering (economic pressures, decrease in self-esteem, etc) participating in his suffering or if in some point I have to start to develop feelings and emotions like in Lovingkindness of happiness, well being, maybe thinking that his situation is not for ever, that he is getting a job soon, that he is happy again. So, the question, I guess, is how long I keep the awareness of suffering while in that stage and if I should try to switch to a more joyful emotion by imaging situations of relief and comfort and happiness for him. (sorry for my english)
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: September 1, 2010, 12:06 pm
Hi Carlos,
Your English is great!
The practices tend to bleed into one another, so that when we’re cultivating metta, for example, we’ll think of some suffering or some joy that the other person has, and we find we’re now cultivating compassion or empathetic joy. The intent in the cultivation of compassion is to wish the friend well while being aware that they experience suffering, letting our lovingkindness transform into compassion. We aim to do that throughout the practice. At the same time, an awareness that the other person won’t be suffering forever, and that they also have joys in their life, is quite appropriate. After all, we’re not just contemplating the other person’s suffering, we’re wishing him or her well. Wishing someone well inherently includes wishing that they no longer be suffering and so “maybe thinking that his situation is not for ever, that he is getting a job soon, that he is happy again” is exactly the kind of thing we should be doing in cultivating compassion.
Comment from Carlos
Time: September 1, 2010, 10:49 pm
Bodhipaksa,
Thanks for your response, much more clear (I hope). My sensation was that I was spending in a, say, 5-minutes long stage, 1 minute being emphatic with the suffering, opening my feelings and emotions to it but then the other 4 minutes in “pure” metta cultivation, leaving behind or forgetting the suffering and just cultivating metta by wishing well, happiness and no suffering. I deduct that to better develop karuna, both states, the first minute and the other 4, should be ran in an unified way as the human experience is. In any case, it has been a great experience to connect with such kind of other people experiences, it certanly has had positive effects on me (patience, consideration)
Thanks again.
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