Dealing with noise
Carol, one of my meditation students, lives in a very noisy apartment in New York City. She wrote: “The subway train is right across the street, the police/fire station is right around the corner, and to top it all off there is a dance club on the bottom floor of my building! I’ve tried pretty much everything — earplugs, music, meditating at work instead of home — the only thing that really works is just to let it go and stop fighting it, but sometimes the noise will still yank me out of concentration.”
I replied as follows: “I think I used to live in that apartment, except that it was in the city center of Glasgow, Scotland. I think you’re on the right track by stopping fighting the noise. Take that one step further and appreciate the noise — embrace it. As you prepare for meditation, really notice and appreciate all of the noise around you.
Call to mind the living, breathing, feeling human beings behind the noise and wish them well. And then accept that noise as part of your meditation practice. Stay loosely focused on your breathing, and let the noise be a sort of secondary focus of the practice — like the ring around the bull’s-eye. If you stop seeing the noise as the enemy of the practice and instead see it as part of the practice, then the conflict will vanish.”
Trying to fight the noise is unlikely to work. The noise is not going to go away because you don’t like it. If you respond aggressively to it then you’re just getting yourself into a fight that you cannot win. In that apartment in Glasgow I had a dance club across the street, a taxi stand outside the windows, and a washing machine through the wall from where I meditated. When the washing machine got noisy, for example, what I would do was embrace the noise, just as I suggested to Carol.
I’d take this even further. What I’d do was reflect that the noise of the washing machine was a perception that existed in my consciousness. Since the noise of the washing machine was in my consciousness, and since my consciousness was meditating, then I reasoned that the washing machine was also meditating.
Realizing this made the washing machine noise just another part of my experience, like the sense of weight on my cushion, or like my breath, or like the emotions in my heart. It was no longer something separate from me that was interfering with my practice, but was a part of my practice.
Doing this, such noises could cease to be a problem altogether, and actually seemed to enrich my experience of meditation. Of course the logic in the above paragraph may not be entirely sound! But the important thing was that in creatively finding a way to stop seeing the noise as an enemy and to start seeing it as just another part of my experience — and a possible aid to may practice — it actually became an aid to my practice.
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Comments
Comment from Damien
Time: March 9, 2008, 7:05 am
hi
How about noise while you are sleeping, That is another form of suffering. Can you still observing the noise and take it as experience and still able to sleep?
Thanks for the advice
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: March 10, 2008, 6:51 am
Hi Damien,
I presume you’re talking about noise when you’re not sleeping but want to be asleep. Sometimes the solution to that is legal rather than meditative. When I lived in a college town I sometimes called the police to break up noisy parties, for example. Right now I live in a consistently quiet neighborhood.
And sometimes I’ve used ear-plugs, for example when I’m on retreat and in a shared room where there may be a snorer.
But assuming that the noise is something unavoidable, like living in a noisy neighborhood, I’d say that simply paying attention to the sounds is the most appropriate way to respond. It’s not the noise itself that keeps us awake, but our response to it. It’s that annoyance, and the assumption that the noise will prevent sleep that actually stops us from dropping off.
Treating the noises as a meditation object — taking an active interest in them and accepting them as best we can — may well lead to a greater sense of relaxation, and that in turn makes it more likely that we will fall asleep.
We tell ourselves that we can’t sleep because of the noise, but on some level that’s not true because we almost inevitably do fall asleep eventually, despite the noise. Now we may say that it’s sheer exhaustion that’s helped us get past the noise and into sleep-mode, but I think it’s more likely that the exhaustion has actually made it impossible for us to keep up the mental activity that’s been keeping us awake.
I do have some meditative tricks that I’ve used in the past to help me sleep, and I’ll make them available online and link to them from here.
If you have any more questions about this topic feel free to ask.
All the best,
Bodhipaksa
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: March 10, 2008, 9:48 am
Hi Damien,
Here’s a link to the article I wrote about meditation and how it can be used to treat insomnia. Perhaps some of what I said there will be helpful.
All the best,
Bodhipaksa
Comment from Damien
Time: March 20, 2008, 3:49 am
hi
Thanks for the advice. I did try to meditate before sleep but the anger (aka ego) seems to take control.
Do you feel angry because of the noisy parties and feel helplessness when the police cannot do anything?
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: March 20, 2008, 8:25 am
Well, this was years ago when I lived in a noisy neighborhood. Although I have now a drummer living on one side of me and a family with three noisy kids on the other, they tend to be quiet at nights, and so there’s not much disturbance to have to live with.
Back then, yes, I did feel angry when there was a noisy party going on. I didn’t think of myself as being helpless (I could go and have a word with them or call the police), but I would get annoyed during the time I couldn’t sleep (although it was mainly the annoyance that was keeping me away!).
Actually, sometimes the neighbors with the kids can be a bit noisy at night — having the TV in the bedroom with the sound cranked up, for example. I hear it but it most of the time it no longer bothers me, and when it does bother me the irritation is mild. I guess I’ve learned to let the sound sweep by me.
My meditation practice back in the party neighborhood days was much more focused on one-pointed concentration, where external noise is often seen as a distraction, but now when I meditate I incorporate noises into my meditation and so they’re no longer seen as distractions. I think that’s helped me to have more equanimity about the neighbors’ TV.
If anger is what’s keeping your mind disturbed I’d suggest metta bhavana — radiating loving-kindness towards the people causing the noise, and remembering to have compassion for yourself because of the suffering you’re experiencing.
Comment from damien
Time: March 20, 2008, 7:55 pm
thanks for the advice and it probably will take sometime to see through my “desire for tranquility” and work this problem out.
Best Rgds
Damien
Comment from matt
Time: August 7, 2008, 9:29 am
hey, just wondering about music – personally i find some noises easy to “accept” but music has a tendency to sort of hi-jack my consciousness. it kind of stops my thinking or focusing, mainly because of the rhythm. even if its a rubbish song, still the rhythm will take hold of my mind which is quite annoying! is there a way around this? i think ihave been told that music is a bad idea in meditation practice because it stops you being able to focus. is there a way around this?
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: August 7, 2008, 12:23 pm
Hi Matt,
I’ve written elsewhere about listening to music while meditating. I agree entirely that listening to music while meditating is not a good idea.
But perhaps you’re talking about simply overhearing music that’s playing elsewhere (like a room-mate or neighbor playing their stereo too loud)? In that case, given what you’ve said, I’d suggest that it’s the desire not to be hearing the music and not to have it being so prominent in your consciousness that’s the problem. If there’s music playing in the background then it’s just there as another sensory object to be aware of. We can’t make the music go away, so it’s best just to accept it.
If the mind latches on to the music because the tune or rhythm are compelling, then make the music into the object of your meditation — paying close attention to the sound in every moment. It’s resisting the music that makes the experience unpleasant.
Is this at all helpful?
All the best,
Bodhipaksa
Comment from matt
Time: August 23, 2008, 5:52 pm
hi bodhipaksa, thanks for your helpful advice. yes i was thinking of music that i was overhearing. however i am interested – can paying close attention to rythm be a form of meditation? as i am a bboy (aka breakdancer) so i practice to music 3 – 4 hours a day, and part of the idea of the dance is to “not think consciously” but instead to focus on the rythmand let it guide you. im afraid to ask a silly question, but does that mean that when i dance i am practicing a form of meditation? as i do find it extremely theraputic. but would i be missing the point a bit? i find normal meditation extremely difficult because i have a very poor attention span – dancing is a lot easier though
Comment from jenny c.
Time: May 8, 2009, 8:27 am
My problem is with the stomping upstairs sometimes the noise comes all of a sudden and shocks me. This is how it disturbs me, it makes my heart skip because its so unexpected one second it could be quiet and the next BANG. I don’t know when to expect it. I am in a relaxed state until this happens how to you suggest dealing with noise that comes unexpectedly???
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: May 8, 2009, 8:55 am
Hi Jenny,
The responses to a loud, sudden noise tend to be very visceral and happen very quickly. You’re right in pointing out that it’s a different situation from ongoing noise, where you have (usually) a less strong response and also more time to deal with it.
I think you just have to deal with the adrenaline rush. You’ll find that you flinch, that your heart races, that there’s a sudden rush of energy to various parts of the body — and you just have to practice noticing those, paying attention to them, and in a way valuing them because they’re prominent experiences that need to be paid attention to mindfully. In time you’ll find that’ll help you not get into unhelpful trains of thought immediately following the bang. You can ever “reframe” the bangs, learning to see them as mindfulness bells that are calling on you to wake up.
Then I imagine that there’s an unpleasant sense of anticipation between bangs, because as you say you don’t know when to expect it. What’s useful here is to notice that anticipating is what you’re doing, to identify the physical and emotional sensations of anxiousness and anticipation, and to observe them as objects of meditation for as long as they’re prominent in your experience. By standing back from them in this way, you won’t be feeding your anxiousness and anticipation. You’ll therefore start to unlearn that habitual response, and create the space the development of the habit of simply paying attention to whatever is present, without worrying about what might be coming next.
Please do let me know if this is helpful or not.
Comment from jenny c.
Time: May 8, 2009, 12:56 pm
Hi,
Thanks for the speedy reply. Although it will be hard on my part, you gave some great tips and I will keep them in mind often.
Complaining, or making more noise to get even hasn’t ever made these situations better, so this was the kind of advice I was looking for. There is no other option for me than live here right now, besides, its just been leaving from one noisy disruptive apartment to the next since I cannot afford to buy my own house.
My natural reaction is to get annoyed, stressed, upset, angry. Its difficult to get out of that mindset but I will give it an earnest try.
Thanks again,
Jenny
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: May 8, 2009, 1:14 pm
Hi Jenny,
Yes, it can be hard. And it can take many repeated tries before we find new ways to respond to difficult circumstances. Probably for a long time you’re going to be observing yourself being “annoyed, stressed, upset, angry.” Underneath all those emotions I’d suggest you find the part of you that’s suffering, and send her thoughts of lovingkindness. Often self-compassion is enough to knock down the whole tower of bricks that constitutes an emotional habit, because the hurt is, so to speak, the bottom brick in the tower. Take care of the hurt, and you can find that your annoyance, stress, etc, all come tumbling down.
Good luck. I’d love to hear how you get on.
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: May 8, 2009, 1:28 pm
Oh, and I’d suggest you make sure you send lovingkindness to the people making the noise. That’s a lot of advice, I know, but you have a bunch of new tools you can try, and hopefully you’ll be able to figure something out.
Comment from Jon
Time: March 17, 2010, 6:08 pm
will this also work when being startled awake as sometimes I find that as it is so sudden I get an adrenaline rush and before i have a bit of mental clarity my mind goes about thinking i’m in danger. This makes it hard to return to sleep. Also wondering if it can be dealt with without compromising instinct in a different situation that may require action.
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: March 17, 2010, 11:21 pm
Hi Jon,
You might want to check out this post on meditation and insomnia. It contains some tips on how to get to sleep.
I can see where you’re coming from with your second question, but actually when we meditate we become more attuned to subtle feelings in the body, and so our intuition becomes stronger. There’s nothing in meditation that inhibits action as such. Meditation helps us to adapt to the things we cannot change, but it leaves us free to change those things we can.
Comment from James
Time: September 7, 2010, 8:42 am
super info. thanks. i have just moved into a new house and am very upset by the train and car noise in the background. even more so as i feel i really should have considered all of these aspects before moving, which of course i did, but some how missed or didn’t notice some much in light of all the other great things about the house.
how can i get over this anger at having “got it wrong” with this move? is there any particular form of meditation you can recommend to deal with this? the noise does not keep me awake so i don’t think that is really the problem.
Thanks,
James
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: September 7, 2010, 10:21 pm
Hi James,
This definitely sounds like a case for lovingkindness (metta) meditation. You could imagine the you that made the decision to move to this particular house, and cultivate lovingkindness toward him, for example. You could also locate the sense of pain that you have when you consider the noise (or the decision) and send lovingkindness to it as well — in effect practicing self-compassion.
It’s a common thing, by the way, to start noticing feeling critical of a new place after first being smitten by it. It’s an odd phenomenon. It’s probably also worth spending time appreciating all the great things you like about the house, so that there’s less mental “bandwidth” available for negative thinking.
Comment from James
Time: September 8, 2010, 5:05 am
Thanks very much the quick reply. I will certainly try the metta meditation as sugested.
I am beginning to feel better things today so I think I am on the right track.
James
Comment from mocowi
Time: March 16, 2011, 6:57 am
Thanks Bodhipaksa for great work (help) to all!
What about dealing with noise of thoughts in my mind?
I am having problem maintaining mindfulness when these chain of thoughts start.. i dont know.
Its frustating because this habit patterns of thinking are extremely adictive & are not ingrained habits.
I have experienced peace in my mind which was so good, but as soon as there some little external distration, eg: relationships with others, etc. I cant avoid thinking all the time, cant do meditation. when i try doing meditation, again thought sway me away and cant keep my concentration anywhere and get irritable.
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: March 16, 2011, 9:28 am
Hi, Mocowi.
I’d be very wary of that idea “can’t do meditation.” What you’re describing is pretty much everyone’s experience, especially early on — that we sit down to meditate and the mind is flooded with thoughts. The expectation of some kind of perfect meditation is the enemy of progress, and we need to simply keep bringing the mind back to the breath whenever we regain our mindfulness. That moment when you regain your mindfulness (or realize you’ve been distracted) is an important one, because it gives us an opportunity to practice acceptance and to develop kindness toward ourselves. You wouldn’t watch at a baby learning to walk and give it a hard time when it wobbled and fell, so why give yourself a hard time for getting distracted? Just as the important thing is the baby picking itself up again, and learning from its efforts, so with our meditation the important thing is making use of the moments of mindfulness that arise from time to time. Gradually, over time, it becomes easier to pay attention, and we’re less prone to get caught up in thinking (although it’s not something we ever totally overcome).
I’d also suggest you try what I call “broadband” meditation. It may be that you’re paying attention to too narrow a range of sensations, and so you’re leaving too much mental bandwidth available for thinking.
It may also be that you need to do more reflection outside of meditation — sitting down and thinking about your relationships, etc, in a creative way. Say you have recurring thoughts in meditation about a difficult you have with a particular person; you could make a mental note that you’re going to think about that later, and then sit down with a pad of paper and think more about that particular problem and how you might address is. And for “things you need to do” distractions, having a to-do list is very useful. Without a to-do list your mind will keep juggling information in the hopes that you won’t forget it.
Comment from Rich
Time: April 11, 2011, 7:30 pm
My problem is also about sudden extremely loud pounding. However it only happens when I am in rem when I have a tendency to “talk” in my sleep, like sleepwalking, is due to stress. In my many years of experience, the neighbors don’t care about this, in fact, they even took up their rugs, so they can pound the moment I start talking, thereby causing more stress. I try to sleep in the daytime, so as not to disturb them at night, they still pound. There always seems to be someone home and they don’t connect that their pounding makes it worst. I’ve had sleep studies, tried medications and the best advice I can give is to “Let it go.” My doctor advised, many years ago, that at some point my heart will not be able to take the extreme, and also, that when my body/brain really need the rest the noises are incoporated into the dream, have had strange ones due to the noise. It has affected my health, blood pressure and weight. I know that taking to the neighbors would be useless, however it amazes me that people can be so violent to a helpless vunerable being – one who sleeps. I pray and have others pray for them. Meditation always helps and I know this is happening with purpose. Bless all.
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: April 11, 2011, 10:32 pm
I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I’d imagine that if it was possible to move, you’d already have done so. I’d imagine it must be trying for your neighbors as well, since presumably they’re being woken up as well.
May I ask how you know that “talking to the neighbors would be useless”? It seems unreasonable to expect them to understand your situation if they’re not aware of what it is. Communication can help enormously with these kinds of conflicts, which are usually rife with assumptions.
Comment from April
Time: August 30, 2011, 2:35 pm
Hi,
This advice has really helped me just by reading it. There has been construction going on outside my window for almost 2 months now, and I have started waking up right before it starts, heart pounding and waiting for the noise to begin. Previous to the construction, I didn’t notice any noise in my apartment, but now I hear everything: people talking, music, etc.
How do I get to the point where I can just tune out the noise or simply incorporate into my sleeping ability?
I am a musician, so I am naturally very sensitive to sound.
I really appreciate your comments about not being angry about the noise, as I have become very stressed and bitter about the noise.
Any suggestions? Would taking up your method of meditation help?
Any comments would be appreciated! Thank you!
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: August 30, 2011, 2:43 pm
Hi, April.
Yes, I think taking up meditation would help. Meditation helps not just with noise, but with anything we find unpleasant, which is why it’s effective in treating stress, depression, and pain. It takes time, but in meditation we learn to accept difficult sensations with equanimity, so that the mind doesn’t react.
I find that the thing is to turn toward what is unpleasant, rather than (as our first instinct often is) to turn away from it or to try to shut it out. By taking an interest in the noise, and by actively paying attention to it — making it the object of our meditation, in fact — we can learn not to react to it. We can get to the point where it’s an emotionally neutral stimulus, and at that point we can tune it out. I recently posted a bunch of meditations that I recorded on a retreat I was leading, and these lead toward the state of equanimity I’m describing. They’re available free, here. I’d recommend working through them, starting from Ease 1 (I’m afraid they’re not otherwise labelled). Ironically, there’s a fair bit of background noise on the recordings, because of fans, and the ambient sounds in and around the retreat center! I hope you can live with that.
Comment from Robert Page
Time: November 26, 2011, 10:51 pm
I have a problem. I anticipate loud noises, such as a school bell, and unexpected encounters, like opening a door to enter and finding someone coming out at the same time. I usually flinch or jump a bit and feel my heart rate increase immensely. I seem to be becoming more high-strung in this manner (I have not always been this way). Now it seems that it is not as much the loud noises, but rather the sheer anticipation that wrecks me. I do not understand my anxiety, awhile back I was almost mugged but got out of the situation by keeping a cool head and being aware of my surroundings. However, I seem to lose all control while anticipating a buzzer while attending a basketball game.
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: November 27, 2011, 3:59 pm
Hi, Robert.
I’ve suggest making the sense of anticipation itself into an object of meditation. Try standing back and noticing the sensations in the body, the thoughts, and the emotions that are connected with anticipation. Notice it. Take a friendly interest in it. Notice how all those sensations change. And then notice what happens when the noise actually happens.
All the best,
Bodhipaksa
Comment from GSP
Time: March 19, 2012, 4:08 pm
Hi,
I have very sensitive ears. Sensitive in the sense, I am just not able to sleep if there is noise. I try to shut off the noise by wearing ear plugs. I have been doing so since the past 6 yrs. But it doesn’t help at all.
I have been living in an apartment since 3 yrs and I just cannot stand the ceiling noise. Since it is sudden , I am woken up from my sleep and then I cant sleep at all. The stomping noise makes it unbearable. I feel miserable about this condition of my ears.
Although, I have tried it earlier, I don’t like complaining about the upstairs people or talking to them about it anymore because invariably, they don’t understand and the stomping noise occurs again and again.
Sometimes, I just wish that I could sleep peacefully every night without having to bother about whether there would be any ceiling noise or outside noise etc……
Please help..
I have shifted many places cos of this.. and I am not happy…..
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: March 19, 2012, 5:42 pm
Hi, GSP.
I sympathize. It’s very hard when we find something unbearable and don’t know what we can do about it.
The problem isn’t with your hearing, though. It doesn’t matter how sensitive or insensitive our ears are, it’s how the mind reacts to the noise that makes the sounds we hear into a problem.
One thing meditation does is to train us not to react emotionally and mentally to things that are unpleasant. I’ve meditated and taught meditation in extremely noisy circumstances — from jackhammers to loud conversations — and the sounds have just been part of the experience. There’s been no mental resistance to the sounds, and so they’re not a problem. And it’s not that I, or the people I’ve been meditating with, have a lack of sensitivity in our ears. In fact I have very sensitive hearing.
It takes practice to learn to have equanimity. We have to start just by noticing the thoughts and emotions that arise when we hear sounds. It helps when we decide that sounds are not something we’re going to fight, but that we’re simply going to notice. And when we notice thoughts or emotions of resistance, we have first of all just to let go of them and come back to the raw sensations. Over time, we learn to just allow the sounds to be there. We either notice them, and they don’t bother us, or sometimes we simply tune them out and don’t notice them at all.
As I say, it takes practice. But it’s worth doing.
Comment from Marian Edmon
Time: April 21, 2012, 11:15 am
My problem is when I am asleep if there is a noise even a light one my heart jump and I can feel my heartbeat going really fast and that scares me because I think overtime my heart it’s going to suffer and the after effects could be dangerous. I get really upset about the way my instincts react. How can I solve or improve the problem?
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