Dealing with noise
Carol, one of my meditation students, lives in a very noisy apartment in New York City. She wrote: “The subway train is right across the street, the police/fire station is right around the corner, and to top it all off there is a dance club on the bottom floor of my building! I’ve tried pretty much everything — earplugs, music, meditating at work instead of home — the only thing that really works is just to let it go and stop fighting it, but sometimes the noise will still yank me out of concentration.”
I replied as follows: “I think I used to live in that apartment, except that it was in the city center of Glasgow, Scotland. I think you’re on the right track by stopping fighting the noise. Take that one step further and appreciate the noise — embrace it. As you prepare for meditation, really notice and appreciate all of the noise around you.
Call to mind the living, breathing, feeling human beings behind the noise and wish them well. And then accept that noise as part of your meditation practice. Stay loosely focused on your breathing, and let the noise be a sort of secondary focus of the practice — like the ring around the bull’s-eye. If you stop seeing the noise as the enemy of the practice and instead see it as part of the practice, then the conflict will vanish.”
Trying to fight the noise is unlikely to work. The noise is not going to go away because you don’t like it. If you respond aggressively to it then you’re just getting yourself into a fight that you cannot win. In that apartment in Glasgow I had a dance club across the street, a taxi stand outside the windows, and a washing machine through the wall from where I meditated. When the washing machine got noisy, for example, what I would do was embrace the noise, just as I suggested to Carol.
I’d take this even further. What I’d do was reflect that the noise of the washing machine was a perception that existed in my consciousness. Since the noise of the washing machine was in my consciousness, and since my consciousness was meditating, then I reasoned that the washing machine was also meditating.
Realizing this made the washing machine noise just another part of my experience, like the sense of weight on my cushion, or like my breath, or like the emotions in my heart. It was no longer something separate from me that was interfering with my practice, but was a part of my practice.
Doing this, such noises could cease to be a problem altogether, and actually seemed to enrich my experience of meditation. Of course the logic in the above paragraph may not be entirely sound! But the important thing was that in creatively finding a way to stop seeing the noise as an enemy and to start seeing it as just another part of my experience — and a possible aid to may practice — it actually became an aid to my practice.
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Comments
Comment from Damien
Time: March 9, 2008, 7:05 am
hi
How about noise while you are sleeping, That is another form of suffering. Can you still observing the noise and take it as experience and still able to sleep?
Thanks for the advice
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: March 10, 2008, 6:51 am
Hi Damien,
I presume you’re talking about noise when you’re not sleeping but want to be asleep. Sometimes the solution to that is legal rather than meditative. When I lived in a college town I sometimes called the police to break up noisy parties, for example. Right now I live in a consistently quiet neighborhood.
And sometimes I’ve used ear-plugs, for example when I’m on retreat and in a shared room where there may be a snorer.
But assuming that the noise is something unavoidable, like living in a noisy neighborhood, I’d say that simply paying attention to the sounds is the most appropriate way to respond. It’s not the noise itself that keeps us awake, but our response to it. It’s that annoyance, and the assumption that the noise will prevent sleep that actually stops us from dropping off.
Treating the noises as a meditation object — taking an active interest in them and accepting them as best we can — may well lead to a greater sense of relaxation, and that in turn makes it more likely that we will fall asleep.
We tell ourselves that we can’t sleep because of the noise, but on some level that’s not true because we almost inevitably do fall asleep eventually, despite the noise. Now we may say that it’s sheer exhaustion that’s helped us get past the noise and into sleep-mode, but I think it’s more likely that the exhaustion has actually made it impossible for us to keep up the mental activity that’s been keeping us awake.
I do have some meditative tricks that I’ve used in the past to help me sleep, and I’ll make them available online and link to them from here.
If you have any more questions about this topic feel free to ask.
All the best,
Bodhipaksa
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: March 10, 2008, 9:48 am
Hi Damien,
Here’s a link to the article I wrote about meditation and how it can be used to treat insomnia. Perhaps some of what I said there will be helpful.
All the best,
Bodhipaksa
Comment from Damien
Time: March 20, 2008, 3:49 am
hi
Thanks for the advice. I did try to meditate before sleep but the anger (aka ego) seems to take control.
Do you feel angry because of the noisy parties and feel helplessness when the police cannot do anything?
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: March 20, 2008, 8:25 am
Well, this was years ago when I lived in a noisy neighborhood. Although I have now a drummer living on one side of me and a family with three noisy kids on the other, they tend to be quiet at nights, and so there’s not much disturbance to have to live with.
Back then, yes, I did feel angry when there was a noisy party going on. I didn’t think of myself as being helpless (I could go and have a word with them or call the police), but I would get annoyed during the time I couldn’t sleep (although it was mainly the annoyance that was keeping me away!).
Actually, sometimes the neighbors with the kids can be a bit noisy at night — having the TV in the bedroom with the sound cranked up, for example. I hear it but it most of the time it no longer bothers me, and when it does bother me the irritation is mild. I guess I’ve learned to let the sound sweep by me.
My meditation practice back in the party neighborhood days was much more focused on one-pointed concentration, where external noise is often seen as a distraction, but now when I meditate I incorporate noises into my meditation and so they’re no longer seen as distractions. I think that’s helped me to have more equanimity about the neighbors’ TV.
If anger is what’s keeping your mind disturbed I’d suggest metta bhavana — radiating loving-kindness towards the people causing the noise, and remembering to have compassion for yourself because of the suffering you’re experiencing.
Comment from damien
Time: March 20, 2008, 7:55 pm
thanks for the advice and it probably will take sometime to see through my “desire for tranquility” and work this problem out.
Best Rgds
Damien
Comment from matt
Time: August 7, 2008, 9:29 am
hey, just wondering about music – personally i find some noises easy to “accept” but music has a tendency to sort of hi-jack my consciousness. it kind of stops my thinking or focusing, mainly because of the rhythm. even if its a rubbish song, still the rhythm will take hold of my mind which is quite annoying! is there a way around this? i think ihave been told that music is a bad idea in meditation practice because it stops you being able to focus. is there a way around this?
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: August 7, 2008, 12:23 pm
Hi Matt,
I’ve written elsewhere about listening to music while meditating. I agree entirely that listening to music while meditating is not a good idea.
But perhaps you’re talking about simply overhearing music that’s playing elsewhere (like a room-mate or neighbor playing their stereo too loud)? In that case, given what you’ve said, I’d suggest that it’s the desire not to be hearing the music and not to have it being so prominent in your consciousness that’s the problem. If there’s music playing in the background then it’s just there as another sensory object to be aware of. We can’t make the music go away, so it’s best just to accept it.
If the mind latches on to the music because the tune or rhythm are compelling, then make the music into the object of your meditation — paying close attention to the sound in every moment. It’s resisting the music that makes the experience unpleasant.
Is this at all helpful?
All the best,
Bodhipaksa
Comment from matt
Time: August 23, 2008, 5:52 pm
hi bodhipaksa, thanks for your helpful advice. yes i was thinking of music that i was overhearing. however i am interested – can paying close attention to rythm be a form of meditation? as i am a bboy (aka breakdancer) so i practice to music 3 – 4 hours a day, and part of the idea of the dance is to “not think consciously” but instead to focus on the rythmand let it guide you. im afraid to ask a silly question, but does that mean that when i dance i am practicing a form of meditation? as i do find it extremely theraputic. but would i be missing the point a bit? i find normal meditation extremely difficult because i have a very poor attention span – dancing is a lot easier though
Comment from jenny c.
Time: May 8, 2009, 8:27 am
My problem is with the stomping upstairs sometimes the noise comes all of a sudden and shocks me. This is how it disturbs me, it makes my heart skip because its so unexpected one second it could be quiet and the next BANG. I don’t know when to expect it. I am in a relaxed state until this happens how to you suggest dealing with noise that comes unexpectedly???
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: May 8, 2009, 8:55 am
Hi Jenny,
The responses to a loud, sudden noise tend to be very visceral and happen very quickly. You’re right in pointing out that it’s a different situation from ongoing noise, where you have (usually) a less strong response and also more time to deal with it.
I think you just have to deal with the adrenaline rush. You’ll find that you flinch, that your heart races, that there’s a sudden rush of energy to various parts of the body — and you just have to practice noticing those, paying attention to them, and in a way valuing them because they’re prominent experiences that need to be paid attention to mindfully. In time you’ll find that’ll help you not get into unhelpful trains of thought immediately following the bang. You can ever “reframe” the bangs, learning to see them as mindfulness bells that are calling on you to wake up.
Then I imagine that there’s an unpleasant sense of anticipation between bangs, because as you say you don’t know when to expect it. What’s useful here is to notice that anticipating is what you’re doing, to identify the physical and emotional sensations of anxiousness and anticipation, and to observe them as objects of meditation for as long as they’re prominent in your experience. By standing back from them in this way, you won’t be feeding your anxiousness and anticipation. You’ll therefore start to unlearn that habitual response, and create the space the development of the habit of simply paying attention to whatever is present, without worrying about what might be coming next.
Please do let me know if this is helpful or not.
Comment from jenny c.
Time: May 8, 2009, 12:56 pm
Hi,
Thanks for the speedy reply. Although it will be hard on my part, you gave some great tips and I will keep them in mind often.
Complaining, or making more noise to get even hasn’t ever made these situations better, so this was the kind of advice I was looking for. There is no other option for me than live here right now, besides, its just been leaving from one noisy disruptive apartment to the next since I cannot afford to buy my own house.
My natural reaction is to get annoyed, stressed, upset, angry. Its difficult to get out of that mindset but I will give it an earnest try.
Thanks again,
Jenny
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: May 8, 2009, 1:14 pm
Hi Jenny,
Yes, it can be hard. And it can take many repeated tries before we find new ways to respond to difficult circumstances. Probably for a long time you’re going to be observing yourself being “annoyed, stressed, upset, angry.” Underneath all those emotions I’d suggest you find the part of you that’s suffering, and send her thoughts of lovingkindness. Often self-compassion is enough to knock down the whole tower of bricks that constitutes an emotional habit, because the hurt is, so to speak, the bottom brick in the tower. Take care of the hurt, and you can find that your annoyance, stress, etc, all come tumbling down.
Good luck. I’d love to hear how you get on.
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: May 8, 2009, 1:28 pm
Oh, and I’d suggest you make sure you send lovingkindness to the people making the noise. That’s a lot of advice, I know, but you have a bunch of new tools you can try, and hopefully you’ll be able to figure something out.
Comment from Jon
Time: March 17, 2010, 6:08 pm
will this also work when being startled awake as sometimes I find that as it is so sudden I get an adrenaline rush and before i have a bit of mental clarity my mind goes about thinking i’m in danger. This makes it hard to return to sleep. Also wondering if it can be dealt with without compromising instinct in a different situation that may require action.
Comment from Bodhipaksa
Time: March 17, 2010, 11:21 pm
Hi Jon,
You might want to check out this post on meditation and insomnia. It contains some tips on how to get to sleep.
I can see where you’re coming from with your second question, but actually when we meditate we become more attuned to subtle feelings in the body, and so our intuition becomes stronger. There’s nothing in meditation that inhibits action as such. Meditation helps us to adapt to the things we cannot change, but it leaves us free to change those things we can.
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