Comments on: Being an introvert in an extroverted world

By: Bodhipaksa

Bodhipaksa — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 15:30:39 +0000

I think you may be confusing introversion/extroversion with something else. Doing something you enjoy doesn’t change necessarily whether or not you find yourself recharged or drained by prolonged contact with other people. If the thing an introvert loves doing is a solitary activity it may well have the opposite effect. Playing alone does not change introverts into extroverts.

By: radits

radits — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 15:11:02 +0000

introverts, really only need to find things thy are good at doing. then they find themselves extroverts.

By: Carliz

Carliz — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 03:10:29 +0000

I loved this article which I came across. I have been researching introvert articles on the internet for the past month as I have began to realise just How introverted I am. I was working in an extroverted job where I had to communicate with people all day, by the end of the day I felt drained and after work I did not have the energy to interact with my family, friends or anyone else. I decided to make the conscious choice to be proud of being introverted as this is what I was given. Im now looking for work where I wont be drained from energy so that after work I can have the energy to see my friends and family. I grew up hating my introverted personality, thought there was something wrong with me (coming from an extroverted family) they use to constantly tease me for being quiet, potraying it as a bad thing “speak up” “dont you have anything to say” “why are you so quiet” were common phrases. I beileve that if we were meant to talk more than listen then we would have two mouths and one ear. I love that I am able to analyse everything, enjoy being on my own, appreciate solitude. one thing about introverts is that they do not fear solitude they embrace it.

By: Rokefeller

Rokefeller — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 21:55:52 +0000

I guess you are right I was more referring to the culture of America as a whole. (Society) but you are right I will still face the same issues personally no matter where I am. I just felt so alienated, discriminated and misunderstood growing up that now that I am beginning to understand myself I feel a strong urge to turn away from everyone until I find the secret to happiness until I reach enlightenment much as the Buddha had done. I don’t hate anyone but I just feel that since they don’t understand my introverted nature they are always trying to change me or tell me what to do, and a lot of times, not properly understanding me, they were forcing me to be an extrovert which made me have low self esteem. Now I place my value on wisdom from unbiased truth and independence. Thank you for your quick response.

By: Sunada

Sunada — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 17:44:13 +0000

Hi Rokefeller, Yes! Be proud to be an introvert! And I would disagree that you don’t belong in America. There are plenty of introverts here, we’re just not as easy to find. There are plenty of quiet types who value solitude here, and the world has much to gain from our being here.

Best wishes,
Sunada
http://www.mindfulpurpose.com

By: Rokefeller

Rokefeller — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 09:01:11 +0000

For the looooongest time I thought there was something wrong with me because I had never met anyone like me. Just knowing that it is not personal but just the way I am built gives me great peace of mind I am one step closer to understanding myself. But us introverts need to stick together 24 is too old to find out that you are not crazy hahaha :) thank you Sunada truly thank you what I’ve learned tonight has been invaluable not only this article but all the ones that led me to this article. All I can say is be proud to be so different from most people even though most times you may feel like you might fit in usually the relationships we have are stronger. JUST DON’T CLING YOURSELF TOO MUCH FROM YOUR PARTNER as introverts we may sometimes overwhelm those we love because we often lack love due to being a misunderstood minority. Wisdom is knowing what to say and when to say it. Thank you again Sunada, more introverted people should embrace themselves and go out of their way to meet like minded people there are so few of us. I don’t belong in America I want to live in Nepal or Madagascar or Northern Canada somewhere I could read, write and draw everyday in peace.

By: Attainable goals for 2009 | Stanley Dankoski

Attainable goals for 2009 | Stanley Dankoski — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:22:33 +0000

[...] been for the last five-plus years. This ongoing goal is to find other avenues. I’m a textbook introvert, so this will be a [...]

By: Sunada

Sunada — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:27:16 +0000

Hi Cameron,

Sorry for the delay in responding. I’ve been away on retreat.

I think the main thing I’ve learned about being an introvert is that there’s nothing wrong with us, and we don’t need to push ourselves to be like our extroverted peers. When we struggle to do something, it only reinforces our feelings of inadequacy and fuels the cycle of negative thoughts. Rather than pushing yourself to talk, what if you reflected on ways that you could accept and love yourself more as you are? And simply enjoying being with your friends when a group conversation is going on, whether or not you’re able to contribute? Doing practices like the Metta Bhavana are helpful for that. When you are genuinely enjoying being with people, they can tell. And then you don’t need to try to prove anything by forcing yourself to do anything. When you’re in the moment and enjoying it, I’ll bet your wish to talk will emerge more naturally, in your own introverted way.

Best wishes,
Sunada
http://www.mindfulpurpose.com

By: Cameron

Cameron — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 07:48:35 +0000

Sunada,
First of all, thank you for deciding to revisit your old struggles as a way of helping others. That is truely a selfless act and I sincerely respect you for that.
As of now, I am a 19 years old male and in these past few years I have come to realize that I’m a huge introvert. After accepting this idea I’ve realized that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Being the intovert I am has given me a huge advantage in decision-making. Most all of my peers are learning lessons the hard way. They are getting involved in premarital sex, drugs, alcohol, and other easily avoidable temptations. The ability to look around at others and not repeat their mistakes is a blessing given to us introverts.
However, the reason I looked for your article was because of the negative externalities dealt by introversion. I love interacting with others. I feel like our purpose here on earth is to build relationships. Unfortunately, I almost always feel like I’m at a loss for words. This can depend on the situation (how comfortable I feel, the person’s personality whom I’m communicating with, my fluctuating confidence, etc) but even around my siblings and closest friends I may experience this. My main problem as an introvert is that I get lost in my own mind and struggle to get out. Many times when I enter a group conversation it is not pleasurable but instead work. I immediately feel that i must contribute to the conversation every 30 seconds or so otherwise people will start to wonder why i’m so quiet. Once I take longer than a few minutes to contribute to the conversation that’s usually when my racing mind consumes me. It starts making me feel inferior to those around me and searches for another who is quiet. I find comfort in being around others who are considered “quiet” or “shy” or at least appear that way in the moment. I’m actively pushing myself to overcome this problem of getting lost in my own thoughts but I almost feel like every step forward is two steps back. I always told myself that I will gain confidence with age but that is not doing the trick. The work starts now and I’m more than ready to push myself, put myself out there, and be in nervous situations to overcome my insecurities. But I’m not entirely sure how to go about that.
Sunada, I love your article and honesty. If you have any tips or suggestions I’m all ears!

By: Andy

Andy — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 13:52:11 +0000

Thanks for the article Sunada.
I like many others have struggled with my introversion. I’m now 44 and still work in a very extroverted IT environment – the culture is very brash and over-bearing. As you have said in your experience, my colleagues seem now to appreciate my hidden talents – tenacity, attention to detail and finding innovative solutions to problems. Unfortunately this takes time and I have had to put with a lot of negativity because I find my usual silence is so misunderstood – the typical extrovert is so shallow and crass. When I was much younger I took a personality test at work which showed me to be exceptionally introverted which at that time was coupled with very low confidence levels.
I have been practising meditation since I was about 25 which helps reduce anxiety and promotes tranquility. I was brought up Catholic and still nominally am but my recent experiences and current reading (especially the Dalai Lama) is really showing me that I’m more Buddhist in my attitudes.