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Listening to our children

Listening helps children feel important, appreciated, and respected. A conversation that could have just touched the surface, deepens dramatically when we really listen to our children.

Parents who listen to their children help them to know what that have to say matters.,

Active listening is a skill that goes beyond just hearing words. It takes energy and understanding what feelings are beneath the words — the emotions and context within which the words are framed.

Here are some tips for active listening:

1. Give your child your entire attention. Don’t be thinking of what you will say when it is your turn to speak.

2. Maintain eye contact and make sure your body language shows you are listening by leaning forward.

3. Don’t multitask when you are listening – just listen to what is being said.

4. Do not get distracted by noises, people or your own thoughts.

5. Keep open to what your child is saying. If you don’t agree, take in what your child says and wait until he or she is finished before responding.

6. Ask clarifying questions without interrupting your child.

You will know you have actively listened when your child seems more at ease after your conversation. Listening to our children validates their experience.

Each evening when you put your child to sleep, ask them what was the best or hardest part of their day and really listen. Your child will know that he or she is important to you.

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About Saddhamala

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Saddhamala (Nancy Nicolazzo) is a twenty-year veteran of teaching, consulting and coaching and the founder of MindfulWorkshops. Assisting individuals and corporate professionals to find ways to improve their personal and professional lives with skillfulness, compassion and awareness is the focus of her online Mindfulness Coaching. You can read about her work (and hire her) at mindfulworkshops.com To contact Saddhamala, click here nn.mindfulworkshops@gmail.com Read more articles by .

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Pingback from Mid-Week Balance: 5 October 2011
Time: October 5, 2011, 4:01 pm

[...] of Wildmind, the Buddhist meditation site, shares her thoughts on how parents can better listen to their children.  As I read the post, my reaction was that this is a good set of listening guidelines for all of [...]

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