Comments on: Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

By: Marcus

Marcus — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 00:02:17 +0000

Thanks very much for sharing yourself so honestly with us. This piece really moved me. I can identify with with a lot of what you wrote. In my care, I have this really awful tendency to take myself to the brink of disaster every few years, only to pull back just in time. I think if I can take your lesson and stay open, I can brake that patter, Thanks again, Marcus

By: Lane

Lane — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 00:38:59 +0000

When I came out of the closet, this quote really made sense

By: Bodhipaksa

Bodhipaksa — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 22:46:14 +0000

Hi, Suzanne.

Thanks so much for sharing, and for your very kind comments about this site. It’s wonderful to hear that you find it beneficial.

As they say nowadays, “It gets better.” Hang on in there.

I think it’s wonderful that you’re exploring Nin’s writings. I’ve never done more than check out the odd quote myself.

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 21:11:57 +0000

Two weeks ago I experienced an extremely fulfilling yet confusing dream. For awhile I had trouble remembering my dreams, but this one hit me like a big yellow bus. I remember it clearly, the clearest I had ever remembered a dream. I won’t describe the entire thing because it’s extremely detailed, however, I eventually came across correlation to my dream with Anais Nin. I had never heard of this woman before then, and decided that maybe I had to do some research. After reading up on her life, her experiences, her morals/beliefs, I decided it would only be beneficial to dig into some of her journals. It was exciting how it was so inspirational to me, but at the same time was interestingly linked to my own thoughts/beliefs. For the past two weeks I have been lightly reading more and more about her because I feel like I need to head in some direction to fulfill my own life. But am I looking to hard for something that may never give me an answer? Today I decided to just read some quotes she gave and stumbled upon your blog. I’ve been going through the toughest time of my life, however I’m only 20, so I know this is step one. I’m finally diving into life experience after being sheltered and naive for 18 years. Taking all emotion and reality in, in such a short period of time has resulted in anxiety, stress, confusion, loss of hope. But for the first time, Anais has lifted some weight off of my shoulders. But I know there’s more to this, and I have to dig deeper. Your blog is extremely fulfilling for me. I felt completely connected with what you wrote and I just wanted to feed you a little about my experience. Keep up the awesome work because you really have your head on straight. Thanks for this opportunity to feed the public some down-to-earth thinking. It’s much needed.

By: Caron Smith

Caron Smith — Wed, 25 May 2011 22:11:54 +0000

Thank you Bodhipaksa. I spent several hours, during the first few months with my (then) new Buddhist partner, crying. I could not figure out why. At the time, she told me that my heart was opening. I too was a tight bud. Her unconditional acceptance of me allowed me to blossom. Thank you for your thoughtful blog.

By: Valencia Ray MD

Valencia Ray MD — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 18:51:24 +0000

I understand how our wounded egos can create loneliness, the very thing we want to avoid. It was a major self-defense mechanism for me for a few decades. Trying to hide behind a mask of invulnerability creates the very thing we fear – loneliness.

I must say though that while there was a series of events, some like yours, that lead me to being able to free myself from this self-imposed tight bud, what has ultimately set me free for the past 20 years from feelings of loneliness is knowing, truly knowing, my connection to Life/Source and loving and accepting myself as a result. It’s easier to feel vulnerable when one does not have feelings of shame and self-rejection to hide. Loving the shadow and the light, integrating them, seeing them for what they are, is very powerful and takes courage. The fear of rejection now seems like the major illusion that it is.

By: Bodhipaksa

Bodhipaksa — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 19:27:41 +0000

It’s very hard to persuade someone to change when they’re clinging to a particular experience. It’s often more than clinging to a job, but also clinging to the sense of self that accompanies the job — being a victim, feeling hopeless, eg. When you tell the person you think they’re making a mistake they often end up clinging even more to the painful situation and the view of themselves that keeps them in that situation. Giving up trying to persuade may, paradoxically, be a way to help them move on. When your friend is no longer actively clinging, they’re more able to be objective about what they’re doing, and therefore more free to change. It may well be that simply encouraging your friend — in a non-judgmental way — to express how he sees his situation will help him to recognize his fear and begin to relax his clinging. Being in a hurry to get people to change rarely works — it takes time and a certain amount of spaciousness, often, before people can start to move on. Or sometimes people really need to experience a crisis before they realize that they no longer have an option to let things go on as they have been.

By: Colin

Colin — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 14:49:32 +0000

I was just searching for this powerful Anais Nin quote, when I stumbled across this wonderful essay. I have a good friend who is turning down a new job even though he hates his old one. I can tell he is miserable, but his misery is familiar, and as such has a certain power over him.

What we are familiar with, what makes us feel safe, can have power over us if we don’t watch it.

I enjoyed your post – it was very thoughtfully written, and I was engaged the whole way through.

I wonder how I can help my friend see that this is a risk he must take. Life is too short to work a job you hate for paychecks that don’t bring you any happiness, which is the only thing you really need.

-Colin
http://www.astanduplife.com

By: Max

Max — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 17:21:50 +0000

This is why vulnerability is true strength…
Is it the way out of the bud :)

But it is seen as such only for those who have dared to blossom
Understand that those attacking you for daring to blossom are those tight in the bud, and suddenly you can meet attack and criticism with compassion and even contribution. And all of a sudden you are bearing fruit!

By: monica

monica — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 11:15:41 +0000

i am now being to blossom around being a grown woman and i do feel scared , fear of being laughed at bulllied attack , ( history ) it is time to move forward and let go of the past and be brave and confident and be beautiful inside and out as i am im just frightened.
I wish you all ove little opening precious buds of nature , god intented us to be happy and free.