The fourth stage as rehearsal
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You can see this stage (like the neutral person stage) as being a rehearsal for life outside meditation.
You might want to think about something as simple as how you will greet the person you have difficulty with when you next meet. If you can be more friendly than usual then it will have a definite effect on your relationship.
If you’re aware of any unhelpful patterns that the two of you have established, then you might like to think of a friendly and respectful way that you can change those patterns — perhaps by giving them praise, or by apologizing for something you have done wrong.
Don’t be surprised if any friendly overtures have the effect of causing suspicion, or even hostility. If there’s a bad history between the two of you then your well-meaning actions might well be misinterpreted as a manipulative trick.
It’s also worth watching out for the reaction we commonly have when we hold out an olive branch only to have it knocked out of our hand with an angry blow. Often we can have a naive assumption that if we do something “nice” then the other person “should” appreciate this and that if they don’t — well, that just shows we were right about them all along!
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