The fourth stage as rehearsal
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The power of the past
It’s not always possible to overcome past habits easily, and we have to be prepared to have our peaceful overtures rejected.
But if you stick to your guns and persist in being friendly, then things will almost certainly begin to change for the better.
It’s worth pointing out here that I’m not suggesting that we “be nice” for selfish reasons, in order purely to make life easier for yourself. Although sometimes a bit more of that would make life a bit easier for a lot of people.
What I’m suggesting is more that we recognize that conflict is painful for both ourselves and others, that we recognize that all beings have the fundamental desire to experience wellbeing and harmony, and that we all deserve to be treated with respect.
Consciously acting in a kind way towards someone that we have difficult with isn’t being false. On the contrary, acting in this way is consonant with the most fundamental truths of life — that we all are striving for happiness.
I could argue that in acting in an unfriendly way towards others we are being more untrue to ourselves that when we are acting kindly.
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