Comments on: Stage 1 – Cultivating metta toward yourself http://www.wildmind.org Explore Meditation Online Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:56:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Bodhipaksa http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one/comment-page-1#comment-120811 Bodhipaksa Thu, 16 Jun 2011 01:52:57 +0000 http://test.wildmind.org/metta/one/#comment-120811 Hi, Emo. Thoughts and emotions are connected, and as you point out, thoughts have emotional content. But a thought like "He shouldn't have done that!" is the words passing through your mind, while the emotion of anger is -- well -- an emotion. It's something felt. Focusing on your thoughts is certainly part of lovingkindness practice. We need the thoughts to kick-start our emotions, and to change our attitudes so that we become more loving. Why should focusing on your thoughts <em>not</em> be meditation? It's something you're choosing to do mindfully. When you're daydreaming you are not (generally) mindful. It is possible to have a degree of mindfulness present during daydreaming, but mostly people don't. The mind simply wanders. We're not conscious that we're daydreaming. We're not aware of the effect that the daydreaming is having on how we feel, so we may well be creating distress, depression, etc. Again, in mindfully focusing on your thoughts you know what you're doing, you know why you're doing it, and you're aware of what it's doing to you. To deal with you last question: I see the focus of the lovingkindness practice as being on the emotional <em>relationship</em> you have with yourself or the other person. The thoughts are simply being dropped in so that they have an effect on the quality of the relationship (hopefully making it more metta-ful). So it's a complex practice, because you have the image of the person you're cultivating metta towards, your emotional state as it relates to that person, and the thoughts that you're dropping in to your mind in order to affect that emotional relationship. Hi, Emo.

Thoughts and emotions are connected, and as you point out, thoughts have emotional content. But a thought like “He shouldn’t have done that!” is the words passing through your mind, while the emotion of anger is — well — an emotion. It’s something felt.

Focusing on your thoughts is certainly part of lovingkindness practice. We need the thoughts to kick-start our emotions, and to change our attitudes so that we become more loving. Why should focusing on your thoughts not be meditation? It’s something you’re choosing to do mindfully. When you’re daydreaming you are not (generally) mindful. It is possible to have a degree of mindfulness present during daydreaming, but mostly people don’t. The mind simply wanders. We’re not conscious that we’re daydreaming. We’re not aware of the effect that the daydreaming is having on how we feel, so we may well be creating distress, depression, etc. Again, in mindfully focusing on your thoughts you know what you’re doing, you know why you’re doing it, and you’re aware of what it’s doing to you.

To deal with you last question: I see the focus of the lovingkindness practice as being on the emotional relationship you have with yourself or the other person. The thoughts are simply being dropped in so that they have an effect on the quality of the relationship (hopefully making it more metta-ful). So it’s a complex practice, because you have the image of the person you’re cultivating metta towards, your emotional state as it relates to that person, and the thoughts that you’re dropping in to your mind in order to affect that emotional relationship.

]]> By: Emo http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one/comment-page-1#comment-120776 Emo Wed, 15 Jun 2011 15:43:36 +0000 http://test.wildmind.org/metta/one/#comment-120776 I've noticed that when I practice Metta vs when I practice Mindfulness of breathing, I tend to be less focused. In Metta, I often find myself getting lost in thought, whereas in Mindfulness I can control my thoughts much better. In trying to refine my practice, I've noticed some things that seem contradictory about Metta. In this section you mention making emotions the focus of our practice. But I don't understand how to distinguish thoughts from emotions - I feel like every thought comes with emotional content. If I'm focusing on my train of thought, does that even count as meditation? How does this differ from getting lost in thought or daydreaming? Furthermore, should I be focusing on my emotions or rather on wishing myself and others well? How do all these concepts work together? Thanks! Emo I’ve noticed that when I practice Metta vs when I practice Mindfulness of breathing, I tend to be less focused. In Metta, I often find myself getting lost in thought, whereas in Mindfulness I can control my thoughts much better. In trying to refine my practice, I’ve noticed some things that seem contradictory about Metta.

In this section you mention making emotions the focus of our practice. But I don’t understand how to distinguish thoughts from emotions – I feel like every thought comes with emotional content. If I’m focusing on my train of thought, does that even count as meditation? How does this differ from getting lost in thought or daydreaming?

Furthermore, should I be focusing on my emotions or rather on wishing myself and others well? How do all these concepts work together?

Thanks!
Emo

]]> By: Bodhipaksa http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one/comment-page-1#comment-100409 Bodhipaksa Fri, 24 Dec 2010 04:40:30 +0000 http://test.wildmind.org/metta/one/#comment-100409 Hi, Rus. I'm glad to hear that your lovingkindness meditation took off. One thing to watch for is the expectation that a particular experience that we enjoyed is going to be repeated. The expectation, in general, just leads to disappointment. Usually I suggest to people that they alternate mindfulness of breathing and metta meditation, unless there's some really good reason for choosing one practice over another (e.g. you're in a bad mood and need to cultivate metta, or you're especially distracted and need to calm the mind with the breath). Hi, Rus.

I’m glad to hear that your lovingkindness meditation took off. One thing to watch for is the expectation that a particular experience that we enjoyed is going to be repeated. The expectation, in general, just leads to disappointment.

Usually I suggest to people that they alternate mindfulness of breathing and metta meditation, unless there’s some really good reason for choosing one practice over another (e.g. you’re in a bad mood and need to cultivate metta, or you’re especially distracted and need to calm the mind with the breath).

]]> By: Rus http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one/comment-page-1#comment-100164 Rus Tue, 21 Dec 2010 11:03:27 +0000 http://test.wildmind.org/metta/one/#comment-100164 I just practiced what i believe to be metta meditation for the first time and it felt a bit amazing, although im not sure if i was doing it "right". but i usually practice breathing-mindfulness daily and was wondering how should i incorporate metta into my routine. should i stop one and adopt the other or practice both 20 minutes each or what? I just practiced what i believe to be metta meditation for the first time and it felt a bit amazing, although im not sure if i was doing it “right”. but i usually practice breathing-mindfulness daily and was wondering how should i incorporate metta into my routine. should i stop one and adopt the other or practice both 20 minutes each or what?

]]> By: Links | Family Publication http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one/comment-page-1#comment-98553 Links | Family Publication Tue, 07 Dec 2010 07:13:24 +0000 http://test.wildmind.org/metta/one/#comment-98553 [...] metta guided real audio: http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one [...] [...] metta guided real audio: http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one [...]

]]> By: Bodhipaksa http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one/comment-page-1#comment-98152 Bodhipaksa Wed, 01 Dec 2010 21:37:36 +0000 http://test.wildmind.org/metta/one/#comment-98152 Hi Denise, Thanks for your appreciation, and for sharing what's going on in your practice. I look forward to hearing more! All the best, Bodhipaksa Hi Denise,

Thanks for your appreciation, and for sharing what’s going on in your practice. I look forward to hearing more!

All the best,
Bodhipaksa

]]> By: Denise Bird http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one/comment-page-1#comment-98141 Denise Bird Wed, 01 Dec 2010 18:15:52 +0000 http://test.wildmind.org/metta/one/#comment-98141 Dear Bodhipaksa, I have only just discoverd your website but woudl like to thank you for it. I have been practicing meditation for a year now, with varied results but I was really shocked at my emotional response during the self metta audio meditation. As I started saying the 3 well wishing phrases to myself all of a sudden was crying and feeling ..well, I am not sure what really! Just very emotional! It was very poweful. Not sure I can describe it as just sadness - it felt more complex than that. I will continue to practice the self-metta to try and investigate further! Thank you again. Dear Bodhipaksa,
I have only just discoverd your website but woudl like to thank you for it. I have been practicing meditation for a year now, with varied results but I was really shocked at my emotional response during the self metta audio meditation. As I started saying the 3 well wishing phrases to myself all of a sudden was crying and feeling ..well, I am not sure what really! Just very emotional! It was very poweful. Not sure I can describe it as just sadness – it felt more complex than that.
I will continue to practice the self-metta to try and investigate further!
Thank you again.

]]> By: Health and self-metta « Urocyon's Meanderings http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one/comment-page-1#comment-94905 Health and self-metta « Urocyon's Meanderings Wed, 20 Oct 2010 17:09:42 +0000 http://test.wildmind.org/metta/one/#comment-94905 [...] More on self-metta (decent translation: loving-kindness), from Pema Chödrön: Unlimited Friendliness Rather good introduction: How Insight and Loving-kindness Free Us from Mental Parasites. (Also good, linked from that one: Taming Elephants-How To Transform Negative Habit Energies: “Negative habit energies are like ticking time bombs. These powerful imprints lie dormant in consciousness until triggered by our own or others words or actions.” A little different approach to PTSD-type stuff.) Wildmind.org offers some observations on practice: Stage 1 – Cultivating metta toward yourself. [...] [...] More on self-metta (decent translation: loving-kindness), from Pema Chödrön: Unlimited Friendliness Rather good introduction: How Insight and Loving-kindness Free Us from Mental Parasites. (Also good, linked from that one: Taming Elephants-How To Transform Negative Habit Energies: “Negative habit energies are like ticking time bombs. These powerful imprints lie dormant in consciousness until triggered by our own or others words or actions.” A little different approach to PTSD-type stuff.) Wildmind.org offers some observations on practice: Stage 1 – Cultivating metta toward yourself. [...]

]]> By: Bodhipaksa http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one/comment-page-1#comment-93108 Bodhipaksa Wed, 15 Sep 2010 11:45:46 +0000 http://test.wildmind.org/metta/one/#comment-93108 Hi Sam, The page you're thinking of is this this one: http://www.wildmind.org/metta/metta-four/self-hatred All the best, Bodhipaksa Hi Sam,

The page you’re thinking of is this this one: http://www.wildmind.org/metta/metta-four/self-hatred

All the best,
Bodhipaksa

]]> By: Sam http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one/comment-page-1#comment-93099 Sam Wed, 15 Sep 2010 08:15:50 +0000 http://test.wildmind.org/metta/one/#comment-93099 Hi Bodhipaksa, I remember reading somewhere on here that if you have trouble creating metta towards yourself then you can do the different stages of metta towards different parts of yourself. the first stage, instead of towards a friend, was towards a part of you that you liked, the next stage instead of a negative person was towards something about yourself that you wanted more of, the next stage, instead of towards a difficult person was towards a difficult part of yourself and so on. I would like to read this section again to clarify the stages, but I can't seem to find it. Can you point me in the right direction please? Hi Bodhipaksa,
I remember reading somewhere on here that if you have trouble creating metta towards yourself then you can do the different stages of metta towards different parts of yourself. the first stage, instead of towards a friend, was towards a part of you that you liked, the next stage instead of a negative person was towards something about yourself that you wanted more of, the next stage, instead of towards a difficult person was towards a difficult part of yourself and so on. I would like to read this section again to clarify the stages, but I can’t seem to find it. Can you point me in the right direction please?

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