Stepping back from the process

At this point it may be a good idea to step back from learning meditation and reflect a little on how it’s going. Learning meditation is not easy - in fact I think it’s one of the more challenging and heroic things that a human being can choose to do with his or her life.

Learning meditation involves learning to see ourselves - warts and all. It requires that we take responsibility for ourselves, rather than using other people as scapegoats for our own failings (”you made me angry”).

There are always ups and downs in learning any skill. Anyone who’s learned to do something like skiing, or roller-blading, or ice skating as an adult will remember thinking, “this is impossible”, and regretting that we ever started. It can be like that with meditation as well, and I’d like to encourage you by reminding you that you are not alone and that you are going through a process that many other people have been through - and come out of the other side of.

One process that many people have been through is the discovery that meditation seems to give you problems you never thought you had. Before, you just had an irritating colleague. Now you realize that you are responsible for your own mental states and that your irritability is a construct of your own mind. Of course, meditation hasn’t created this problem - it’s just made you more aware that you have it. This can be a shock initially.

At first it might seem that it would be more comfortable to retreat into unawareness - but that may not be an option. Once you’ve begun to realize that you are responsible for your own life and emotions, it’s hard to lose that perspective. You’ve looked behind the curtain, realized that the wizard is a little old man pulling strings, and can never again see him as the all powerful Oz.

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