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Sit : Love : Give

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You are browsing all posts tagged with the topic: metta

Wildmind Meditation News

Feb 11, 2014

Meditation helps pinpoint neurological differences between two types of love

wildmind meditation newsBill Hathaway, Yale News: These findings won’t appear on any Hallmark card, but romantic love tends to activate the same reward areas of the brain as cocaine, research has shown.

Now Yale School of Medicine researchers studying meditators have found that a more selfless variety of love — a deep and genuine wish for the happiness of others without expectation of reward — actually turns off the same reward areas that light up when lovers see each other.

“When we truly, selflessly wish for the well-being of others, we’re not getting that same rush of excitement that comes with, say, a tweet from our romantic love interest, because it’s not about us …

Bodhipaksa

Jan 06, 2014

Six reasons to think good thoughts

6 Reasons to think good thoughts

I really like this graphic that one of my Google+ friends, Shalone Cason, put together. Not only is it attractively presented, but it’s a very accessible interpretation of a traditional Buddhist teaching on the advantages of kindly thoughts.

You can find Shalone on Google+, and he also has a blog here.

Bodhipaksa

Nov 27, 2013

What do you call metta?

dalai lamaWhat’s your preferred translation of “metta”?

As a kind of postscript to our recent Urban Retreat, which was on the theme of metta, I’m going to share my thoughts about some of the terms people use, and propose an uncommon, but I think good, English term.

1. Lovingkindness
The most common English term that people use for metta is “lovingkindness.” That’s pretty much the standard term. A search for “metta is loving-kindness” on Google brought up 17,200 results.

What’s good about it?

It’s an old and well-established term in English. You might be surprised how old it is; it’s found for example in a 1611 translation of the Bible (this example is from the Book of …

Bodhipaksa

Nov 26, 2013

The Urban Retreat: Every ending is a beginning

urban retreat 2013

This is not the end, but the beginning.

Here is a summary of where we’ve been, and a list of suggestions for continuing your exploration of meditation.

Where we’re been

We hope you appreciated and benefited from the material we sent you. Remember that even if you didn’t manage to read everything or watch all the videos, they’re always there for you. In fact here’s a handy list of all the posts we sent during the retreat:

  • Urban Retreat: Day 1: Demystifying lovingkindness
  • Urban Retreat: Day 2: Authentic lovingkindness
  • Urban Retreat: Day 3: Lovingkindness: When the Rubber Hits the Road
  • Urban Retreat: Day 4: Protecting others, you protect yourself.
  • Urban Retreat, Day 5:
  • Bodhipaksa

    Nov 25, 2013

    The Urban Retreat, Day 8: Developing compassion

    urban retreat 2013

    I’m going to write less today, because sometimes I go on a bit, and I know we’re all bombarded with information. So here are just a few words about the practice of compassion, and especially of self-compassion.

    What is compassion? Like lovingkindness, it’s a volition (something we desire or will or intend). While lovingkindness is the desire that beings find happiness, compassion is the desire to relieve suffering. Compassion flows directly from lovingkindness; we want beings to be happy, yet they suffer, and so we want their suffering to be relieved so that they can find happiness.

    Compassion is not a sentiment. It’s not just a feeling. Volitions are what lead to …

    Bodhipaksa

    Nov 24, 2013

    The Urban Retreat, Day 7: The practice of gratitude

    urban retreat 2013

    One quality that’s closely related to metta is appreciation. We often take things for granted when they’re going right, and then focus on what’s not going the way we want it to. And that makes us unhappy and makes our relationships with others less warm and appreciative.

    At our worst we’ll say things like “Nothing ever goes right in my life.” And in the moment we’re saying those words we’ll ignore that we have air to breathe, we’re alive, we’re probably healthy, we’re living in a fairly civilized society (it’s far from being Mogadishu), we’re sheltered from the elements, we have water, electricity, the internet, friends, family, etc. The specifics of …

    Bodhipaksa

    Nov 23, 2013

    The Urban Retreat, Day 6: The tender heart of lovingkindness

    2013-urban-retreat

    In previous posts I’ve suggested an approach to cultivating lovingkindness that begins with contacting our innate lovingkindness. Now the expression “contacting our innate lovingkindness” is a problem for many people, because they look inside themselves, don’t see anything at that moment that they could call “metta” or “lovingkindness,” and then conclude they don’t have these qualities. Which can start a downward spiral of rumination and pain: I don’t feel any love; Therefore I don’t love myself; Therefore I must be unlovable; Therefore no one will ever love me; Therefore my life is horrible.

    I think almost everyone has experienced that kind of emotional nose-dive at one time or another.

    But I think that when …

    Bodhipaksa

    Nov 22, 2013

    The Urban Retreat, Day 5: Looking with loving eyes

    2013-urban-retreat

    I’d like to share a way of relating that I call “loving gaze.” This is borrowed from Jan Chozen Bays, who writes in How to Train a Wild Elephant of the practice of “Loving Eyes.”

    In her book she says:

    We know how to use loving eyes when we are falling in love, when we see a new baby or a cute animal. Why do we not use loving eyes more often?

    So what we can do is to recall, or even just imagine, the experience of looking with loving eyes. You can recall (or imagine) looking at a beloved child, or a lover, or even a pet. I find that the sense of …

    Bodhipaksa

    Nov 21, 2013

    The Urban Retreat, Day 4: “Protecting oneself, one protects others. Protecting others, one protects oneself.” The Buddha

    2013-urban-retreat

    The Buddha said, “Protecting oneself, one protects others. Protecting others, one protects oneself.”

    Lovingkindness helps us protect others, and it helps us protect ourselves.

    At one time I used to have the New York Times delivered to my house every morning. It was one of my great pleasures to have a leisurely breakfast with a cup of tea, toast, and some intelligent analysis from the Op-Ed pages. But first I had to get the newspaper, which was tossed onto (or near) the front porch every morning by the delivery driver.

    It was always an awkward moment for me walking out onto the porch in my bathrobe and slippers, with my hairy legs and knobbly ankles …

    Bodhipaksa

    Nov 20, 2013

    The Urban Retreat, Day 3: When the rubber hits the road

    2013-urban-retreat

    When the rubber hits the road is a great time to practice lovingkindness, and I mean literal rubber and a literal road.

    There’s a lot of irritation involved in driving, even far short of the extreme of road rage. It can be irritating to be in slow traffic, or busy traffic, or to be cut off, or to be held up by roadworks, or stuck at traffic lights.

    We’re emotionally cut off from other drivers because we’re all in our own semi-private metal boxes, and so we don’t have access (usually) to their body language and facial expressions. So we often take things personally that aren’t necessarily personal. As comedian George Carlin said, “Have …