Posts Tagged "perfectionism"

Self-compassion for writers (and other tortured souls)

June 12, 2014

WriterI was talking to a Buddhist friend recently who’s a wonderful writer. She creates amazing blog posts that usually start off deeply personal but go on to teach important and universal lessons about life. I have a lot to learn from her about combining the personal and the instructional, and in many ways I regard her as the better writer. The thing is, she told me she hasn’t been able to write for two years now, because she’s a perfectionist.

And that’s the problem with perfectionism. Perfectionism makes us anything but perfect, because, for one thing, it makes it harder for us to create. Perfectionism is like teaching an animal to do a trick by … Read more »

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Day 14 of Wildmind’s 100 Day Meditation Challenge

January 14, 2013

100 day meditation challenge 014Stuart Valentine, who’s participating in the 100 Day Challenge, wrote about how fear of other’s judgements can stop us from getting started:

Being a born pessimist, one of the first things that occurred to me about the 100 Day Challenge was that if I did it, I would have to do it PERFECTLY. And this was clearly impossible, so there was no point trying.

‘Scoring’ just 99 out of 100 would be a disaster. I would feel irritated with myself, embarrassed, would have let myself and others down… and many other negative emotions I projected on to this ‘awful’ event.

If I ended on 90 out of 100, or heavens forbid 89 out of 100,

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Lay your burdens down

November 12, 2012

On the path of life, most of us are hauling way too much weight.

What’s in your own backpack? If you’re like most of us, you’ve got too many items on each day’s To Do list and too much stuff in the closet. Too many entanglements with other people. And too many “shoulds,” worries, guilts, and regrets.

Remember a time when you lightened your load. Maybe a backpacking trip when every needless pound stayed home. Or after you finally left a bad relationship. Or just stopped worrying about something. Or came clean with a friend about something that had been bothering you. How did this feel? Probably pretty great.

Sure, we are no longer nomadic … Read more »

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Meditation as an antidote to perfectionism

February 17, 2010

Notre Dame Observer: Competition and perfectionism are prevalent issues at Notre Dame — often much more serious than they are considered to be, three experts said Monday evening.

The Gender Relations Center presented “The Fighting Irish: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” as a part of their Signature Series in the Carey Auditorium of the Hesburgh Library. The lecture featured Daniel Lapsley, chair of the Psychology Department, Rita Donley, associate director of the University Counseling Center and Sondra Byrnes, a guided meditation instructor who is also a professor in the Mendoza College of Business.

Lapsley focused on the psychological explanations of perfectionism.

“There is a basic theme that perfectionism is a disorder or defect,” he said. … Read more »

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