Kindness, good. Self kindness, better

July 19, 2016
wildmind meditation news
Want to be kinder to yourself? Try this: How To Stop Beating Yourself Up (MP3) by Bodhipaksa
I’m standing in the kitchen talking to one of my best friends. We’re both crying. And we don’t have much time.

The kids will be home soon. The visit will end. We’ll be back to communicating sporadically via time zone-challenged texts.

“I’m having this crisis of confidence,” she says. “At work. As a parent.”

“How come you can’t see yourself the way I see you?” I ask.

“I don’t know.”

“Go and see someone. Tell them you need to change the tape in your head. Tell them …

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Don’t try to like yourself. Just be kind to yourself

July 18, 2016

girl holding flower

The way to get past not liking yourself isn’t trying to like yourself more: it’s being kinder to yourself.

Last week I was having a conversation with a friend who was experiencing loneliness. She said she liked herself, but she also said at one point, “I have a sweet dog in my life. Maybe that’s all I’m allowed.”

I suggested that she might ask herself whether that was something she would say to a friend who was lonely.

You wouldn’t do that, would you? To say to someone, “Maybe the universe doesn’t want you to have anyone in your life but your dog. Maybe you’re meant to be lonely,” would be very unkind and hurtful.… Read more »

Lovingkindness: Connection before cultivation

July 15, 2016

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At the moment we’re fundraising to cover the costs of bringing out our newest CD, “Harnessing the Power of Kindness,” (publication date August 2016) which of course will also be available in MP3 format. We’re asking people to buy a copy in advance to help us pay for the upfront costs. Here’s a link to our Indiegogo crowdfunding page, where you can read about the perks we’re offering to donors.

One of the emphases in the guided meditations on this album is what might be called connection before cultivation. Basically this is the principle that cultivating kindness (or lovingkindness, if you prefer) is easier and more effective when we first connect empathetically with … Read more »

Kindness and personal responsibility

July 13, 2016
wildmind meditation news
A Kindfulness of Breathing guided meditation by Bodhipaksa is available here!
Ryan James Lock, Huffington Post: Lady Gaga and the Dalai Lama recently gave a talk about the importance of kindness and personal responsibility recently and the response has been amazing.

I’ve always been pretty interested in personal development and conscious living. Over the last few years, I’ve read more self help books than I can count- most of which were extremely helpful and some of which were….less than.

Whatever belief system the book, workshop, class audio or course was based on, one common thread ran through nearly all of the material and that …

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How to grow from your regrets

June 24, 2016
wildmind meditation news
Self-compassion is a skill that can be learned: How To Stop Beating Yourself Up (MP3) by Bodhipaksa
Kira M. Newman, Greater Good Science Center: According to a new study, self-compassion may help us benefit from regret rather than wallowing in it.

Sometimes, regret is a deadweight that we carry through life, slowing us down and making our shoulders ache. But other times, it turns into a kind of fuel; it propels rather than hinders, motivates rather than distracts.
What’s the difference between these two outcomes? A new paper by researchers at UC Berkeley suggests that it might be self-compassion.

The researchers recruited 400 adults and …

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Self-Compassion workshop in Chicago, July 31

June 17, 2016
self-compassion in Chicago
Click on the image to download a PDF flier.
Learn the Revolutionary Art of Self-Compassion

Bodhipaksa, founder of the online meditation centre Wildmind (www.wildmind.org), is facilitating a workshop on the art and practice of self-compassion, in Chicago on July 31, 2016.

Do you give yourself a hard time when things don’t go the way you plan? Do you find it hard to accept your faults? Do you criticize yourself a lot? Do you give yourself a harder time than you would ever give a friend or family member? If so, you’re not alone—and you might benefit from practicing self-compassion.

Research has demonstrated that those who rate highly on self-compassion scales are psychologically healthier … Read more »

How to be the world’s best soulmate

April 25, 2016
wildmind meditation news
How To Stop Beating Yourself Up, Guided Meditations for Self-Compassion (MP3) is available in our online store!
Nanci Besser, Fulfillment Daily: Everyone wants a soulmate. Yet what does it take to be a perfect partner to that soulmate? A research study shows us the secret to being a wonderful soulmate, and it’s something most of us have never heard of: self-compassion.

At this point in your existing or budding relationship you probably know the crucial basics about one another: Human? –Check; Approximate age/height? –Check, check; Occupation? –Check; Do you practice self-compassion in your life? -Uh, no…why on Earth would that matter? Well, I’m glad …

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Six ways to start practicing self-compassion — even if you believe you’re undeserving

April 5, 2016
wildmind meditation news
How To Stop Beating Yourself Up (MP3) – guided meditations for self-compassion
Margarita Tartakovsky, PsychCentral: For many of us being kind to ourselves is hard. It’s hard even when we’re struggling — and need compassion most. Instead, we get mad. We tell ourselves to buck up. We wonder why we’re so weak. We criticize and hurl insults. We withhold our favorite things — telling ourselves that we don’t deserve to participate in enjoyable activities, because after all, we screwed up everything.

But the good news is that we can learn to cultivate self-compassion. Which is vital. Self-compassion helps us to meet life’s challenges in a supportive way …

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Why you should ditch self-esteem for self-compassion

March 29, 2016

close up of an african american baby hand in mother's handIn the field of education it’s common to assume that self-esteem and academic performance are closely linked, and that if you want to maximize students’ potential you need to boost their self-esteem.

Its also common to hear that bullies are people with low self-esteem, and that if you want them to be more respectful of others then their self-esteem needs to be boosted.

Most of this received wisdom has been shown to be highly questionable, or even untrue. It seems that people who do well academically have high self-esteem as a result—not the other way around.
And I’m sure almost every student can think of times they were convinced they were going to fail an … Read more »

Our latest meditation CD: How to Stop Beating Yourself Up!

March 25, 2016
If you like my articles,  please click here to check out my books,  guided meditation CDs, and MP3s.

Wildmind’s newest guided meditation CD (and MP3) has just been published and it’s all about self compassion.

Most of us are far too hard on ourselves. We doubt our own worthiness. We talk to ourselves unkindly and often sacrifice our own well-being in order to “get things done.” Often we fear that if we stop criticizing ourselves we’ll cease to perform well.

Paradoxically, though, it’s people who lack self compassion who are more prone to stress and burnout, while self-compassionate individuals are more emotionally resilient, better able to face challenges, and overall more effective.

Self-compassion can be learned. It arises from developing four skills:

  • Mindful awareness, which helps us to recognize our mental
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