Helping yourself speak your truth

December 22, 2014

Old-fashioned rotary telephone off the hookNormal as they are, these inhibitions limit your autonomy, and consequently, your intimacy. Their regulation is excessive and thus unskillful. And they harm others by denying them important information about how you are feeling and what you really care about. Here are some ways to deal with them:

1. Draw on the slow but powerful prefrontal cortex to keep reminding yourself that you are entitled to the pursuit of your own happiness, to your own experience, and your own view – and that you will communicate in a virtuous manner. It could help to write out a kind of manifesto – usually for your eyes alone – declaring what is fair and just for you … Read more »

Self-compassion has many health benefits

December 22, 2014

wildmind meditation news The Heart’s Wisdom: Development of Compassion – Meditation MP3 Aaron Means, Chanhassen Villager: You have probably heard a lot about mindfulness over the years. Self-compassion is a natural byproduct of mindfulness, as a self-compassionate attitude asks us to be mindful of how we are relating to ourselves.

Self-compassion is commonly defined as the ability to adopt a stance of self-kindness, feel a sense of connection to others, and be mindful of one’s thoughts and feelings in the context of one’s experience of pain and suffering.

There are three elements that are inherent within self-compassion. Self-kindness, or the tendency to be kind …

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Is self-compassion more important than self-esteem?

December 18, 2014

wildmind meditation newsRadical Self-Acceptance, by Tara Brach (3 CDs) Steven C. Hayes, Ph.D., The Huffington Post: Is it important to love yourself?

It seems that depends on how you do it.

Few concepts in popular psychology have gotten more attention over the last few decades than self-esteem and its importance in life success and long-term mental health. Of course, much of this discussion has focused on young people, and how families, parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors can provide the proper psychological environment to help them grow into functional, mature, mentally stable adults.

Research shows that low self-esteem correlates with poorer mental health …

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Free book giveaway!

December 10, 2014

Radical Self-forgiveness bookWe’re giving away a copy of Radical Self-Forgiveness: The Direct Path to True Self-Acceptance by Colin Tipping!

Simply sign up for Wildmind’s bi-monthly newsletter for a chance to win!

We will choose one new subscriber at random on Friday, December 12, 2015 at 2:00 pm (US EST). The winner will be notified by email. If you are already a subscriber then please share this with a friend.

Most of us have plenty of experience with self-blame and guilt—but we are often at a loss when it comes to forgiving ourselves. According to Colin Tipping, this is because our idea of forgiveness usually requires a victim and a perpetrator—which is impossible when we play both roles

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Another great self-compassion resource

October 31, 2014

hands holding heart-shaped leavesThis morning I shared some resources I’d put together on the subject of self-compassion, but I just realized that there’s another great resource of mine that I can point you to. It’ll be especially ideal if you can’t make it to my November 22 workshop at the NY Insight Meditation Center, or a good primer if you can.

This resource is a video presentation on “How to Stop Beating Yourself Up,” on En*Theos Academy, which is a kind of Netflix for spirituality and personal development.

This class presents my latest teaching shared in a fun, high energy, 30-minute video format (you can also download MP3s and a PDF for the class). And it’s … Read more »

How to stop beating yourself up

October 31, 2014

Marmorherz“How to stop beating yourself up” is a workshop I’m teaching at the New York Insight Meditation Center on November 22. In this workshop I’ll be introducing, step-by-step, the skills of self-compassion. If you live in the area I hope you’ll be able to join me. Click here for more information on the workshop.

But we have a world-wide community here, and most of you won’t be able to attend.

I hear from a lot of people around the world who create suffering for themselves through self-criticism and self-hatred, and so I want to share some articles on self-compassion that I hope will be helpful. (And if you do live near NYC, this will … Read more »

Healing after heartbreak

October 29, 2014

wildmind meditation newsAnastasia Pollock, NewsOK: Healing from heartbreak can feel daunting and overwhelming. These five skills can aid in the healing process, making it less overwhelming, and helping a person to heal fully so he or she can move forward with his or her life.

Heartbreak can be the result of many situations. It can be the loss of or a change in a relationship, the loss of a loved one, a major life adjustment or the loss of something that is important to you. The common denominator here is loss and change that feels like (and is in some respects) loss. Often, when we …

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How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: New York Insight Meditation Center

October 20, 2014

bodhiBodhipaksa will be in New York City on Nov 22, 2014. He’s leading a self-compassion workshop at the New York Insight Meditation Center: “How to Stop Beating Yourself Up.”

In this workshop Bodhipaksa will introduce a step-by-step guide to the core skills of self-compassion. As well as drawing on models from Buddhist psychology, we’ll take a look at insights from neuroscience, and explore Buddhist compassion and lovingkindness meditation so that we can learn to regard ourselves — and our pain — with compassion and kindness.

Click here for more information

How to get out of a bad mood: 12 tips

September 30, 2014

wildmind meditation newsJoyce Marter, LCPC, PsychCentral: Large and rapidly moving, ominous clouds of negativity roll into my mind, infuse my thoughts and deeply darken my mood. As I exhale, I feel the irritability fume from my nostrils like fiery smoke from a dragon’s. As I bristle with defensiveness and hostility, I feel the energetic spikes of anger jet from my spine, creating a non-verbal warning to others to steer clear. My eyes narrow and shoot lasers of fury. My tongue sharpens and my words become cutting and biting. As waves of anger ripple through my body, my energy and power grows. My walk becomes a …

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For people who hate their bodies

June 14, 2014

Image adapted from a Creative Commons licensed photograph by reway2007Not many people like their bodies. The typical reaction from looking at oneself naked in the mirror lies somewhere on a spectrum from mild disappointment to outright revulsion, with a bit of disbelief thrown in (how did I get so old? where did those wrinkles come from? where’s my hair gone?)

I had a little epiphany the other day, though. I’d been talking with my girlfriend, who I adore. She’s beautiful. Really beautiful. And she’s also afflicted by doubts about her attractiveness. So when we were talking she was going over some of the things she didn’t like about her appearance (wrinkles, etc) and I’m, like, “I don’t care. I love those things about you. … Read more »