Day 32 of Wildmind’s 100 Day Meditation Challenge

Kevin, one of Wildmind’s Community members, writes very movingly about why he meditates.

I sit so I can stand.

I am a novice meditator, having stumbled upon the practice while looking for some strength and solace in the face of an enormous emotional trauma. I can say without reservation that my practice has kept me sane and perhaps even alive. I do not claim to be an expert meditator, whatever that may be. Many days, much of my time on the cushion is spent trying to find a comfortable posture. I can’t do a body scan to save my neck. My mind races and the emotions sometimes utterly overwhelm me. Sometimes it feels like I should post a sign in my meditation spot that reads, “Please keep your hands and feet in the car until the ride comes to a complete stop.” But still I sit — every morning, so far.

I sit because occasionally I do experience moments of profound peace.

I sit because I can tell it’s working, slowly, gradually, imperceptibly. My mind is being trained.

But the main reason I sit came to me recently during an otherwise difficult sit. My mind was racing, the emotions were surging, my narrator was chattering away. But in the midst of it all came this clear thought:

I sit so I can stand.

Yes. I sit so I can stand — not physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I sit so that no matter what happens the rest of the day, I can stand.

I sit so that no matter what painful thoughts come or emotional storms howl, I can stand. The storms do not and have not stopped, but I can stand in their midst and not lose myself — at least occasionally.

I sit so I can stand.

Since joining the Wildmind Google+ community, I have discovered that there are many more folks like me who have found and are finding strength and solace for their emotional wounds in practice. What I have found is that not only do I sit so that I can stand, but that WE sit so that WE can help each other stand. Every day at least a few of us need that help to stand, need a little metta and tenderness. This is sangha. We sit so we can stand.