My own definition of mindfulness is very simple:
Mindfulness is the gentle effort to be continuously present with our experience.
But I like Jon Kabat-Zinn’s definition of mindfulness:
“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way;
On purpose,
in the present moment, and
nonjudgmentally.”
Kabat-Zinn, if you haven’t heard of him, is a famous teacher of mindfulness meditation and the founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center.
First of all, mindfulness involves paying attention “on purpose”. Mindfulness involves a conscious direction of our awareness. We sometimes (me included) talk about “mindfulness” and “awareness” as if they were interchangeable terms, but that’s not a good habit to get into. I may be aware I’m irritable, but that wouldn’t mean I was being mindful of my irritability. In order to be mindful I have to be purposefully aware of myself, not just vaguely and habitually aware. Knowing that you are eating is not the same as eating mindfully.
Let’s take that example of eating and look at it a bit further. When we are purposefully aware of eating, we are consciously being aware of the process of eating. We’re deliberately noticing the sensations and our responses to those sensations. We’re noticing the mind wandering, and when it does wander we purposefully bring our attention back.
When we’re eating unmindfully we may in theory be aware of what we’re doing, but we’re probably thinking about a hundred and one other things at the same time, and we may also be watching TV, talking, or reading — or even all three! So a very small part of our awareness is absorbed with eating, and we may be only barely aware of the physical sensations and even less aware of our thoughts and emotions.
Because we’re only dimly aware of our thoughts, they wander in an unrestricted way. There’s no conscious attempt to bring our attention back to our eating. There’s no purposefulness.
This purposefulness is a very important part of mindfulness. Having the purpose of staying with our experience, whether that’s the breath, or a particular emotion, or something as simple as eating, means that we are actively shaping the mind.
Left to itself the mind wanders through all kinds of thoughts — including thoughts expressing anger, craving, depression, revenge, self-pity, etc. As we indulge in these kinds of thoughts we reinforce those emotions in our hearts and cause ourselves to suffer. Mostly these thoughts are about the past or future. The past no longer exists. The future is just a fantasy until it happens. The one moment we actually can experience — the present moment — is the one we seem most to avoid.
So in mindfulness we’re concerned with noticing what’s going on right now. That doesn’t mean we can no longer think about the past or future, but when we do so we do so mindfully, so that we’re aware that right now we’re thinking about the past or future.
However in meditation, we are concerned with what’s arising in the present moment. When thoughts about the past or future take us away from our present moment experience and we “space out” we try to notice this and just come back to now.
By purposefully directing our awareness away from such thoughts and towards the “anchor” or our present moment experience, we decrease their effect on our lives and we create instead a space of freedom where calmness and contentment can grow.
Mindfulness is an emotionally non-reactive state. We don’t judge that this experience is good and that one is bad. Or if we do make those judgements we simply notice them and let go of them. We don’t get upset because we’re experiencing something we don’t want to be experiencing or because we’re not experiencing what we would rather be experiencing. We simply accept whatever arises. We observe it mindfully. We notice it arising, passing through us, and ceasing to exist.
Whether it’s a pleasant experience or a painful experience we treat it the same way.
Cognitively, mindfulness is aware that certain experiences are pleasant and some are unpleasant, but on an emotional level we simply don’t react. We call this “equanimity” — stillness and balance of mind.
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I was liking the sound of this until the last section - it sounds as though mindfulness can leave you cold and unfeeling. I'd like to achieve balance and perspective and not allow negative emotions to take over but I'd still like to enjoy pleasant experiences on an emotional level! Does no more despair/upset mean no more elation/joy? If so, I don't think it's for me.
Mindfulness is quite the contrary to a cold an unfeeling state. When the article says "We simply accept whatever arises. We observe it mindfully. We notice it arising, passing through us, and ceasing to exist," this includes experiences of joy as well. Joy arises, and we enjoy it -- fully -- while it lasts, but we don't cling to it, so we don't get disappointed when it ends. But to my mind the word "elation" which you obviously have positive associations with, isn't a very mindful state. TO my mind elation is a kind of intoxication with joy, which leads to a loss of balance and sensitivity to others, and to a post-elation "crash." Of course you may understand something quite different by the word "elation."
Hello!
Im new and I'm having a hard time understanding a concept. When I think of someone who is in the present moment, they are completely aware of what's happening around them. For example, someone could not sneak up on them or when prompted, they can immediately participate in a conversation that is happening in front of them. It seems as though if you are being mindful of your thoughts, emotions, senses, etc that you are not necessarily aware of everything that's happening around you also. So, can you be mindful of the experience of eating ice cream and be aware of the person taking a walk off in the distance? Or does the term 'in the present moment' mean whatever experience you choose to be mindful of? Thanks
You might find this article helpful.
if mindfulness is deliberately noticing things and sensations,living in the present ,then why do you need to just focus on breathing ? why not just focus on all the things that are happening,listening to sounds , noticing all the bodily function etc.
Well, you don't just focus on your breathing. You notice other things as well. But what focusing on your breathing does is teach you to develop steadiness of attention, so that you can be more continuously mindful.
@cate: That works for me....I generally breath through my mouth ....so its difficult for me to focus on breathing.....So I focus on things that are happening and objects around me.....and once im being mindful,...there is sudden awareness about my breathing and body language..
Actually when I am watching movie....I am not even blinking....but when I am mindful....I actually realize i need to blink my eyes
As far as I can tell from studying all the major religions, you aren't supposed to enjoy yourself at all (especially not sexually). How does this square up with mindfulness? Am I allowed to enjoy sex if I'm mindful about it? Or is it still a sin? Ps. Not a troll. Genuinely confused.
It's a good question. Buddhism doesn't say you shouldn't experience pleasure. It says that you shouldn't get attached to pleasure. That can mean many things, including not getting upset when pleasure passes, not craving to have pleasure, not trying to get pleasure in ways that are destructive, etc.
If you're a monk or nun, then the rule is no sex. It's just too much of a distraction -- the sex itself, plus the relationship aspect (those are always complicated), plus the possibility of having kids. If you're a householder Buddhist then there are precepts to guide your sexual activity. So it's fine to have sex (there is no concept of sin in Buddhism) but you should make sure that you don't hurt others by, for example, getting involved in someone else's exclusive relationship, or by having sex with someone inappropriate (they're too young, say), or by having sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you.
I think I'm not grasping the point of this. My psychologist instructs me to practice it. I usually read and think about abstract theories for fun, If I'm into something I do not look up from what I'm conceptualizing for up to 24 hours (taking laptop with me when need to use toilet). Why should I want to not do this, and sit and think about the physical sensations in my body, or the movement of my toothbrush back and forth in my mouth? This is not interesting or enjoyable. Is the goal not to have thoughts or opinions? why should I not want to analyse and make judgments? I can escape the pains of the physical into fantasy so why would I not? I don't see the benefit, it seems awfully depressing. I've googled but perhaps i need someone to explain specifically whatever I am apparently missing. Thanks.
I'm assuming that you're seeing a psychologist for a reason. Usually those reasons are to do with unhappiness or with there being some difficulty in our lives that we need help with. I think it's pretty much guaranteed that being more mindful would help you with that unhappiness or those difficulties.
No one's asking you to think about the physical sensations in your body. That would not be mindfulness.
You are afraid that mindfulness would take things away from you that bring you pleasure. Mindfulness is a form of awareness that gives us choice. What you choose to do is up to you. You can choose to be so caught up in your computer activities that you take your laptop to the bathroom with you, but you can also choose not to do that if you find that other activities are better for you. Mindfulness gives us choice. It doesn't take it away.
Hello, Dear Bodhipaksa.
Thanks and congratulations for loving kindness and insights! Finding the site you are leading and reading the contents therein is truly beneficial, indeed.
I normally and mostly to be exact, go to the related link shared in my native language, MYANMAR(BURMESE) from where followers can benefit to any levels ranging from the basic, the understanding of Karma to the ultimate, the attainment of Enlightenment, depending on. Given yours,Sir, I truly have a high regard for your metta(lovingkindness), cetana(well-wishing), and thuta(being well-versed)and bhavana(practice for perfection). Pardon me if mine comes short of the totality of yours. Also allow me to reshare one of the treasure utopias as a way of paying homage to all my teachers, even though I still need to come up to the highest form of actually doing so, so far.
Here comes the the Link; http://www.dhammadownload.com
Thanks again.
Dear Bodhipaksa, I have a practical question about mindfulness which I have not been able to answer by myself. I'm having problems with the paradox of being present without trying to be present and without thinking about being present. As soon as I start practicing mindfulness, in my mind I start pouring out theories, directing myself, etc. I can observe that this happens, and then my mind puts that observing into language as well, which never ends. To simply go 'deeper', 'observe the reactions of the mind', or whatever, still requires conscious action and effort based on words/theories, hence in my case these things also get dominated by the mind. So, my attempts at being mindful are active processes which require direction, which turns it into a complete paradox. How to be mindful without trying to be mindful and without conscious theories or directions? Thank you!
It sounds, Suzanne, that your idea of "being present without trying to be present" is getting in the way. Did someone tell you that mindfulness is effortless? It can get to that point, just as being able to juggle while riding a unicycle can be effortless. On the way to effortlessness a lot of effort has to be expended.
It also sounds like you're trying to practice mindfulness of the mind without first developing mindfulness of the body, and so you're getting lost in your thinking. You're over-thinking. For now, I'd suggest that you just keep coming back to your breathing (I'm assuming you're doing some kind of mindfulness of breathing). When you notice you've become caught up in thinking, just let go of the train of thought and return to noticing the physical sensations of the breathing. If you find yourself commenting on what you're doing, this is just more thinking that you've been caught up in, and so you let go of that thinking and return to the physical sensations of the breathing.
Okay, thank you! I like to put effort in things I value and it is good to know that mindfulness can take at least as much effort as juggling while riding a unicycle. That is indeed how it seems to feel sometimes, though in truth I never tried the unicycle.
I find that the more I try and stay away from a thought or a way of thinking (self-pity, frustration), the more I gravitate toward it. So. What works for me is letting myself go there. Dwell on it. Talk to myself about it, why I'm feeling that way, why I might be right or wrong to feel that way. Overthink it until I've exhausted myself on it. And then I can move on. Restricting (or trying to restrict) yourself from a natural thought pathway will only create confusion and frustration. This works for me.
Hi, Misty. Mindfulness isn't about trying to stay away from thoughts. As far as thoughts go, it involves noticing them when they arise, and having the choice whether to engage with them or not. When a thought is one that we recognize as unhelpful (like the self-pity or frustration you mention) we generally just let go of them by gently turning our attention to something else.
We are also free to reflect on the thought in the ways you mention -- for example reflecting how you're going to feel if you keep indulging in it -- but I wouldn't use the expression "dwell on it" and I wouldn't recommend "overthinking." But anyway, all of that can be done mindfully.