My own definition of mindfulness is very simple:
Mindfulness is the gentle effort to be continuously present with our experience.
But I like Jon Kabat-Zinn’s definition of mindfulness:
“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way;
On purpose,
in the present moment, and
nonjudgmentally.”
Kabat-Zinn, if you haven’t heard of him, is a famous teacher of mindfulness meditation and the founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center.
First of all, mindfulness involves paying attention “on purpose”. Mindfulness involves a conscious direction of our awareness. We sometimes (me included) talk about “mindfulness” and “awareness” as if they were interchangeable terms, but that’s not a good habit to get into. I may be aware I’m irritable, but that wouldn’t mean I was being mindful of my irritability. In order to be mindful I have to be purposefully aware of myself, not just vaguely and habitually aware. Knowing that you are eating is not the same as eating mindfully.
Let’s take that example of eating and look at it a bit further. When we are purposefully aware of eating, we are consciously being aware of the process of eating. We’re deliberately noticing the sensations and our responses to those sensations. We’re noticing the mind wandering, and when it does wander we purposefully bring our attention back.
When we’re eating unmindfully we may in theory be aware of what we’re doing, but we’re probably thinking about a hundred and one other things at the same time, and we may also be watching TV, talking, or reading — or even all three! So a very small part of our awareness is absorbed with eating, and we may be only barely aware of the physical sensations and even less aware of our thoughts and emotions.
Because we’re only dimly aware of our thoughts, they wander in an unrestricted way. There’s no conscious attempt to bring our attention back to our eating. There’s no purposefulness.
This purposefulness is a very important part of mindfulness. Having the purpose of staying with our experience, whether that’s the breath, or a particular emotion, or something as simple as eating, means that we are actively shaping the mind.
Left to itself the mind wanders through all kinds of thoughts — including thoughts expressing anger, craving, depression, revenge, self-pity, etc. As we indulge in these kinds of thoughts we reinforce those emotions in our hearts and cause ourselves to suffer. Mostly these thoughts are about the past or future. The past no longer exists. The future is just a fantasy until it happens. The one moment we actually can experience — the present moment — is the one we seem most to avoid.
So in mindfulness we’re concerned with noticing what’s going on right now. That doesn’t mean we can no longer think about the past or future, but when we do so we do so mindfully, so that we’re aware that right now we’re thinking about the past or future.
However in meditation, we are concerned with what’s arising in the present moment. When thoughts about the past or future take us away from our present moment experience and we “space out” we try to notice this and just come back to now.
By purposefully directing our awareness away from such thoughts and towards the “anchor” or our present moment experience, we decrease their effect on our lives and we create instead a space of freedom where calmness and contentment can grow.
Mindfulness is an emotionally non-reactive state. We don’t judge that this experience is good and that one is bad. Or if we do make those judgements we simply notice them and let go of them. We don’t get upset because we’re experiencing something we don’t want to be experiencing or because we’re not experiencing what we would rather be experiencing. We simply accept whatever arises. We observe it mindfully. We notice it arising, passing through us, and ceasing to exist.
Whether it’s a pleasant experience or a painful experience we treat it the same way.
Cognitively, mindfulness is aware that certain experiences are pleasant and some are unpleasant, but on an emotional level we simply don’t react. We call this “equanimity” — stillness and balance of mind.
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It is hard to stick to a mindful routine. I've found that what can be really helpful is a gentle reminder to help us to stay mindful every morning as our day starts. The Mindfulness Wake-up Call (http://www.mindful.website) has helped me a lot.
Hello,
I am from Mexico City, and I am very interest in study and get a serous certification at mindfulness, to be more aware of my life, and to support my clients at coaching. Do you have any suggestion where can I study at Mexico City or US?
Thank you
Blessings,
Luisa
The only place I know of that offers MBSR teacher training is UMass Medical Center, Luisa. There may be something in Mexico, but being a non-Spanish speaker I wouldn't even know how to look :)
Hello there. I recently had anxiety attacks and it has left with this memory that I need to control my breathing. After reading about mindfulness on this website, I can accurately say that I have been very mindful of my breathing evey time, to the extent that I find it is bothersome to me. But when my mind is totally occupied, I don't think so much about it. I have spoken to some psychologists and they have told me that it's because I have associated a bad memory to it, that's it why I find it very bothersome. Can you help me out with some advise or suggestion? Or is there away to message you privately. I appreciate your help greatly.
Hi, Malvin.
I've had several people post comments recently along similar lines. I don't know if this is a coincidence, whether there's an epidemic of people controlling their breathing, or whether perhaps there's some link to this site that's bring people interested in that topic. I have an article here on that topic, but it's mostly aimed at the mild problem some people have in meditation of trying to control their breathing. It seems that with some people this becomes an ongoing problem. How to deal with that, I don't really know, although perhaps some of the suggestions in the article I linked to, or in the comments below it, will be helpful.
I have to say though that being mindful of your breathing (which you say you've been doing all the time) is not really compatible with controlling your breathing (which you also say you've been doing). Mindfulness just observes -- it doesn't interfere.
One thing I'm going to throw out there is that idea that you could switch your attention to being mindful of your desire to control your breathing. Where is that desire? Where is it located? How does it manifest? What size is it? What texture is it? What's its emotional tone? Just notice those things, without judgement. If you can't find the desire, just stay with your experience and keep looking.
the Sufi believe is the similar as the Buddhist mindfulness, A Sufi says our life is a series of moments and we need to live in the present. the present little happiness will determine the future happiness.
the technique described is excellent in this article present of mind and present in time. Control the past pains. Excellent article.
How does one practice being mindful while grieving the suicide of my child. Honestly looking for help. Thank you
Hi, Lisa.
You have my sympathy. I can't imagine how painful it would be like to lose a child. Mindfulness at a time like that is crucial. It's important to accept the pain; to allow it to be there. It's also important to recognize when the mind is creating stories around the pain, and thereby intensifying it. All those thoughts we have along the lines of "this shouldn't happen," or "this is terrible," or "I can't stand this," are unnecessary additions to our experience and just cause us pain.
The other thing that's important is to offer our pain compassion. That's something I (and others) have written about a fair bit on this site. You'll find some resources here.
Great distinction.
Mindfulness really seems to be something that's easy to misinterpret and I think many authors could explain it better.
I love the idea of "gentle effort"... too many materials I've read just talk about awareness, "being not doing" etc, but the neurological reality of it is that, actually, it is a habit and you are "doing" something new with it (And anyway the brain is always "doing" something).
That gentle effort of meeting your difficult sensations/thoughts/ urges with noticing and perhaps curiosity, compassion, etc - which over time builds new neural pathways that allow psychological flexibility in situations where previously you were rigid in your behaviors/internal states.
I'm glad there are people like you who can describe it practically and usefully and not get too dogmatic about "being not doing", "not trying", "pure awareness", etc. All that stuff sounds great, but in practice - like, actually mindfully meeting anxiety or anger or hurt or self-destructive behavior - I find it unhelpful.
There is a gentle effort and purpose involved, as you say.
Thanks for putting that into words so well.
Rick
Thanks, Rick.
Hi I just found your website. Very interesting and uplifting. Anabel was asking about how mindfulness can help with a eating disorder...it makes us more aware as to what is going on inside of our minds and bodies as to why to would chose to deprive yourself of food or even why someone would over indulge. My heart goes out to her. I hope she had pursued this lifestyle to find peace within her being. Awareness is a new life.
Hi thank you for your site.
I want to suggest you start forum on the website where people can share their experiences and helpbeach other out. It would be awsom3. My question now. I have been meditating for a while now. I dont pay attention to any object per say but anytbing that arises becomes my focus of meditation and I let it do its thing and just watch it but its nit an efforfull watch just somwthing u can say stay with it. Anyways there com3s a point where where my brains starts to relax on the breath automatically. Now I have been noticing kore and more that my obj3ct is becoming my attention more and more and its like my attention is different than me and I can see what its doing. What is this? What is going on? And what type of meditation am I practicing.
So you're suggesting installing a forum, maintaining the software, moderating comments, dealing with the inevitable trolls that like to frequent such places, and set myself up to offer unlimited free meditation coaching? :)
Actually, I already spend a lot of my time dealing with unsolicited queries about meditation :)
Mindfulness and Faith should be inseperatable.
Why!
I have faith that the number 17 bus will appear at 28 minutes past the hour. I fail to see what that has to do with mindfulness. I think you're confused. cygnusx15 at bigpond.com
Doesn't it depend on what's meant by "faith." The word most commonly translated as "faith" in Buddhism is "saddha," which means confidence or trust based on experience. Mindfulness and faith are both part of the group of qualities known as the five spiritual faculties, and they're meant to be developed together. Mindfulness has the function of balancing faith, our emotional response to truth, with wisdom, which is another of the spiritual faculties and which is our cognitive approach to truth. Anyway, I don't know what Barbara meant, but in traditional terms she's correct, and mindfulness and faith/saddha should be inseparable.
See also a book by Brother Lawrence written about the 12th century in France, called Practising the Presence.