I am a forty-five-year-old woman who suffered a spinal injury thirty years ago that has resulted in a legacy of on-going physical pain. Of course this has been difficult to live with, but some twenty years ago I had a significant experience that radically changed my perspective on life and plunged me into the wonder of living in ‘the present moment’.
I was in an intensive care ward at the time, with an acute deterioration of my condition. I had been bedridden for several months and unable to sit up, but on this occasion I had undergone a diagnostic procedure that required me to sit up for several hours afterwards. During this long night of intense pain I felt myself sliding towards the edge of madness.
I spent hours with two internal voices locked in combat – one voice convinced I could not stay sane till morning and the other willing me to do so. It was an incredibly intense, brittle, heart-breaking experience.
Then, suddenly, my experience completely changed when I heard a quiet inner voice saying: “You don’t have to get through till morning; you only have to get through the present moment”. It was like a house of cards collapsing, revealing the space that had been present all along, if only I could have recognised it. My experience immediately changed from an agonised, contracted state to one that was soft and rich – despite the physical pain. At that moment of relaxing into the present moment, just as it was, I intuitively knew I had tasted something true.
I later found a way of making sense of this experience through the teachings of Buddhism and have spent the past 20 years training my heart and mind, using meditation and mindfulness. I was ordained into the Western Buddhist Order in 1995 and for several years I have taught meditation and mindfulness practice to others who live with pain and illness.
Below are some tips and pointers drawn from the methods I have developed that you mind find helpful if you are living with discomfort or pain. Please explore these as you wish, alongside any other treatments or therapies you may be receiving. Mindfulness practice can ‘complement’ conventional medicine in a helpful way.
She runs courses in Manchester UK for people suffering from chronic pain and illness, teaching them how to optimize quality of life using meditation and other mindfulness-based strategies. She also is involved in running a training program for those wishing to deliver the Breathworks programme in other localities.
She suffered a spinal injury in 1976 and has used meditation and mindfulness to manage her own chronic pain for many years.
Vidyamala’s CDs of guided meditations — developed as part of her Breathworks pain management program — are available for sale in our online store.
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I know meditation would improve my life; also I have a friend who is in constant pain, also from nerve injury in his neck. I wonder where he could begin to learn how to deal with this through meditation. He lives in Iowa, U.S. Do you know anyone in this area to refer him to? Thank you -- You're inspiring
I am a 38 year old who was diagnosed with Lupus-causing kidney failure at 17. I am now 38. Thanks to 2 transplants, I have not been on dialysis since then, but I have on occasion. As a result of poor kidney function, I have severe neuropathy. Before and after the transplants, I had high doses of Prednisone, which has caused osteonecrosis. Bottom line, I've been in pain for roughly the past 10 years, which almost cost me a marriage to a wonderful guy. I am currently doing pretty well. I have better kidney function than I've had in about 8 years. I thank this, in part, to beginning my journey of learning into meditation and living in the moment, as well as focusing my energy on healing and staying well. Although I have a tremendous amount to learn, I amno longer dreading what is to come, but enjoying what I have now and look forward to learning about pain management using meditation and present mindedness. Glad I found this site!
I am 20 years old cancer patient(male).I have cancer in spinal corde.Now a days medicine is not able to control the pain.The pain drives me to madness.No matter how much I try mentally I cant get reliefe from pain.Would you please tell me how maditation will help me in this state.
Thank you
Hello Muhammed,
I'm very sorry to hear about your illness and the pain that you're experiencing. Vidyamala's writings in this section will give you some background information on how meditation can help you cope better with the pain. But of course reading about this isn't the same as doing the practices. If there isn't some kind of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction class available to you I'd suggest getting hold of Vidyamala's CDs, which offer a practical guide to meditation and pain management.
I was hit by a car 8 years ago this November and in result i have chronic pain in my hips, lower spine and neck. I didn't want to take any drugs to mask the problem so I took control of my own well being, so I turned to meditation and breathing exercises. It was the best thing I did for myself.
I have recently undergone a surgery and its left me in alot of pain. I would rather take a more natural approach to dealing with my pain and getting through this. Thank you for just putting a few words out there that inspired me. I'm only 15.
Anthony
Dear Anthony,
I was very inspired by your comment in relation to my article. I am very impressed that you are open to this kind of approach when you're only 15. You are lucky, as most of us only begin to look at our minds & our responses to life when we are a lot older & there's all sorts of entrenched habits already there.
I really wish you the very best with your recovery & thank you very much for writing.
Vidyamala
I am a type 1 diabetic, I was diagnosed when I was 14 I am now 20 but in-between those 6 years I never was in control my A1c levels were always of the charts and I weighed only 170 pounds for most of those 6 years, being 6' 6" made me look emaciated, I didn't have any pain throughout this time period, I figured I was young and I wasn't going to have any negative side effects or get sick and die. About a month ago I began to feel very sick and was rushed to the hospital and admitted to the icu with diabetic ketoacidosis, my case was so severe the doctors I saw throughout my stay were constantly reminding me of how close I was to death. I am happy to say that my diabetes is getting under control and I feel healthier, but as a result of not taking care of myself, I am experiencing a constant pain in my lower legs. My endocrinologist told me that I have Peripheral Neuropathy; I realize that I had a choice in preventing this and I have nothing and nobody to blame but myself. However, because of this pain, I have not been able to sleep and I have been put on a wide array of medication with loads of side effects, and I am tired of all of it. In the past, I would never be open to trying new things, but coming so close to death at a young age makes me realize that I should try new things and not live life shut out. I am tired of being another sick kid who takes his medicine everyday and sits in hope that the pain will go away, I should actively seek out a better way of life and choose to live happily with pain instead of being miserable with it, And reading your article has inspired me to do so. Thank you
Hi Kevin
You sound courageous both in being willing to try new things but perhaps more importantly in being willing to admit that you had habits that have led to your health being so acute. I have had to face these things myself and it is always easier when one stops being an ostrich (head in sand) or blaming others. I have just written a book that is available on amazon in the USA: Living Well with Pain and Illness: The Mindful Way to Free Yourself from Suffering
and it has lots of practical exercises and tips. you might want to take a look.
all the best with your journey and good luck!
Hi, im 23 and for the last 5 years i have been going through some serious pain in my leg because of nerve damage in my back. Just wondering if i could possibly get some tips on dealing with it? Thanks