Tips to help you deal with pain

The tips that follow are aimed at helping you to accept your primary suffering and reduce your secondary suffering.

  • See if you can stay in the present moment as much as you can. Whenever you notice that your mind has wandered off into the future or the past, gently bring it back. This doesn’t mean you can’t think about the past or future, but try not to get too caught up with these thoughts.
  • Investigate the process you call ‘pain’. You will notice it is in fact a mass of sensations, not a thing. Get to know it as actual, felt experience, rather than getting too caught up with thoughts about it. Notice how it is always changing from one sensation to another, no matter how dense and solid it may feel.
  • Move towards the pain. See if you can soften around any resistance you may feel towards it. This is counter-intuitive but if you try to ignore it or push it away, it will just scream louder. Use the breath to help with this (see meditation that follows).
  • Kindness and gentleness are crucial. Treat pain as you’d treat an injured loved one. See if you can find a tender attitude of heart.
  • Once you have gently acknowledged the pain you can then broaden out your field of awareness to look for any pleasure that is also going on in the moment. Notice experiences such as sun on the skin, being with a loved one, noticing flowers by the bed etc. There will always be something pleasurable in your experience, no matter how subtle. Let the pain be just one of several things you are aware of in the moment.
  • With this honest, tender attitude to all the shades of physical, emotional and mental experiences in the present moment you can then choose how you respond to things. This is the point of creativity – how we respond/act in this moment sets up conditions for the next moment. You can always insert a moment of choice no matter how far down the line you’ve gone into distress and anguish.
  • Any moment can be an opportunity for learning if we come back to the actual sensations of the present moment rather than getting lost in thoughts and reactions. See if you can let both pain and pleasure be held within this broad perspective: neither contracting tightly against pain nor clinging tightly to pleasure. Allow all sensations to come into being and pass away moment by moment.

Vidyamala’s CDs of guided meditations — developed as part of her Breathworks pain management program — are available for sale in our online store.

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  • Dear Sophie

    many thanks for your message. Your circumstances sound exceptionally torrid. I really feel for you.

    You are obviously savvy with the internet and you could consider doing an online course with a virtual group in mindfulness for pain and health problems. Sorry if I seem to be plugging my own thing, but actually I think it could potentially be a helpful lifeline at this time. We had a woman on the course last year who has been house bound for 10 years and it helped her a lot. You can find more info here: https://www.breathworks-mindfulness.org.uk/online-courses/group-online

    Obviously I can't think of anything practically useful to offer as you and your friends have no doubt thought of everything. Is there any mileage in talking to the council to see if the neighbours are breaking any laws?

    You can download some free meditations and things at the breathworks website which may also help http://www.breathworks-mindfulness.org.uk and of course wildmind is a real gold mine. thanks again for writing and very best wishes - vidyamala

  • I just wanted to say that all this info is really helpful and reading others opinions and experiences is almost comforting.
    I have been suffering with chronic tendinitis/bursitis in my knee, well... it's located in the pes anserinus just below the knee but my pain, aching and irritating discomfort goes all the way up my inner thigh, I also have compensatory pain and discomfort in my lower back and my 'good' leg as a result. It was on it's healing path for a few weeks after my initial physio appts but just recently it has flared up again, I don't get any relief as sitting is one of it's main aggravators, walking and standing also hurt so needless to say I am trying to learn how to deal with the pain, anger and frustration associated with this problem. I was close to becoming a professional dancer when this problem got very bad and have had to stop all physical activity this is what I am struggling with the most right now, that idea that dance is back on the horizon then snatched away a little further again, I hate this, I feel I'm in limbo with pleasure dangled in font of me then taken again so quickly. I wasn't intending on writing all of this but I feel my partner is finding it hard to sympathise and just remains positive all the time and expects I should do the same as my condition is apparently not permanent but it has caused me to almost grieve over the loss of my former life of dance, childrens entertainment, performing on stage.... the list goes on. Anyway, what I wanted to say is what struck me when reading your tips was my immediate mental resistance to letting go of past and future..... I'm so angry at what this is doing to me and the effect on my life, I'm going to give it my best shot and am looking into alternative/complementary treatments and therapies. I hope I can find easier days with less bitterness and resentment, perhaps this is a factor and if I let go I can start to heal.
    Thanks again, and sorry to babble on... that was unexpected but perhaps for me, necessary.
    thank you

  • I am living in Portugal have a bachelor in psychology and would like if you know where in the UK I could go in order to train on pain management courses/seminars to use for my patients who are dealing with physical and emotional pain. I Am also interested on motivational semirars in order to teach them on how to motivate themselves. Thank you if you could help me it would be greatly appreciated.

    • The three universities I've heard of most often in relation to mindfulness (which may include mindfulness in relation to pain) are Bangor, Exeter, and Oxford.

    • Fortunately there's a ton of scientific research that disagrees with you on that, Mary. And speaking from personal experience, I know that meditation has helped me enormously with the pain of migraines.

  • Have had to stop meditating after being diagnosed with diverticular disease which gives me severe daily and nightly cramps caused by wind. Sitting in one position just makes the pain worse, and constant flatulence and wind is extremely embarrassing so group meditation is completely out now. I'm pretty much at the end of my tether physically and mentally. I had already had fibromyalgia for some 30 years, cervical spondylosis and an unstable spine, and coxiella burnetti. My immune system was probably compromised when I had a bout of cancer at 22 so not surprising my health is rocky. I was going on weekend retreats, but can't now because of my wind. I hav a very restricted ( hospital) diet,( no fruit, dairy wheat) but am in a lot of pain.Any suggestions on my practise/ meditation greatfully received.

  • Hi Shriley

    I am very sorry to hear about your situation which sounds tough. You may be interested in a book I have written which contains an 8 week course for people living with pain/illness. IN the US it is titled 'YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAIN' https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Your-Pain-Well-Being---/dp/125005267X/ref=sr_1_4_twi_2_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1428321989&sr=8-4&keywords=vidyamala

    and in the UK 'MINDFULNESS FOR HEALTH' https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Health-practical-relieving-restoring/dp/074995924X/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1_pap?ie=UTF8&qid=1428321937&sr=8-1&keywords=vidyamala

    The meditations are only ten minutes long and very accessible. I do hope it helps. All the best with your journey.

  • Thank you and Wildmind for publishing this article. My emotional pain was so intense (yet again...) today and I didn't feel like sitting was helping. I searched online and found this article-what a beautiful breath of fresh air for me! Just reading it once lifted some of the pain and I now believe I know how to get through this. Thank you!

  • Thanks for taking the time to write Deb. I'm so sorry to hear about your pain but glad you found these tips helpful. I hope you continue to feel a bit better.

    Best wishes

    Vidyamala

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